When Worlds Collide
by CronoCat
Summary: Crono just had to push that big red button! Now he and Lucca have landed in Hyrule. CH.14 UP-Peter Pan's Happy Thought, an Outlandisly Impossible Battle Scene, and Ganny being weird. Again. rr!
1. A Rare Sighting Of Peter Pan

Disclaimer: I don't own Crono Trigger or any of that stuff, but this story is all mine! Oh yeah...I don't own Peter Pan either...

A/N: Well, this is a little spur of the moment...and I guess a little odd...but I like it anyway. It is kind of a sequel to another story I wrote a long time ago (Krono Kart) but you don't have to have read that one to understand what's going on. Yes, Crono talks, so if you don't like it when authors have him talk, don't read this. Glenn (Frogg) is human in this, by the way. Enjoy...

The Return To Never-Never Land

Chapter One: A Rare Sighting of Peter Pan

"...Crono? Are you okay?"

The redhead pushed himself up; where was he? And who was calling his name? He blinked furiously as a large purple mass swam in front of his face. After a moment, it came into focus as the worried face of his best friend, Lucca. She smiled and pushed her hair back. Adjusting her glasses, Lucca sighed and said, "you just _had_ to press that red button, didn't you?"

Crono groaned, trying to remember. Vaguely and then more clearly, the scene came flooding back to him. 

**FLASH BACK**

_"So, did you come to see my newest invention?" Lucca asked, leading him to the backyard. _

_"Yup. I heard from Marle that it's gonna be really cool," Crono said looking curiously at the tarp. _

"Yeah...how does she always know about my inventions?" Lucca wondered. 

"Well, can I see?!" Crono demanded impatiently. 

"Ta-da!" Lucca cried, whipping off the tarp.

"Wow! Cool...you've done a wonderful job..." Crono exclaimed. 

Grinning, Lucca wiped her hair out of her face, "And you don't have any idea what this is, do you?"

Crono just shook his head mutely. 

"It's a teleporter, dummy! Remember? From the fair? And we went to all those different times?" Lucca asked patiently. 

Crono's face lit up and he nodded excitedly. 

"With a few adjustments, this time. Now it not only jumps around in time, it will take us to different places. If it works, that is," Lucca continued. 

Crono hopped in the machine and began to examine all the buttons. 

"You can look, but don't touch," Lucca warned. 

Crono glared, "I'm not two years old..." 

A few minutes later, the two friends squeezed into the teleporter. The young inventor pointed to all of the buttons, discussing their uses in earnest tones. Her redheaded friend looked on, nodding with interest. All of a sudden, a particularly bright button caught his eye. "Ooooh!" He cried, reaching forward. 

"Crono! NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON!! NOOOOO!!" Lucca screamed, trying to push his hand away. 

WHUMP! Crono smacked the button. Suddenly, Lucca's vision blurred as the world began to spin. Crono clutched on to her as they whirled and twirled through space. 

"Lucca? You know how I said I was bored? I'm never bored when you're around..." Crono suddenly yelled. 

"Ditto! You keep things livened up too!" Lucca screamed back. Then everything had gone black.

"Oops," Crono muttered, remembering now that this was all his fault. And now, here they were in some lush, green, apparently uninhabited land. Crono stood up. "Where are we?" He asked, unable to see anything besides green grass stretching out for a ways and then crashing into a forest of old, gnarled trees.

Lucca shrugged, "beats me...shall we explore?"

Crono grinned happily, "sure!" Scanning the horizon of this new world, Crono noticed a huge boulder, somewhere beyond the trees. He pointed it out to Lucca.

"Another castle?" Lucca guessed, when he told her. She shuddered a little, remembering that just a few days before, she and Crono had visited the Mushroom Kingdom. That too, had been Crono's fault...he was always dragging her along on these wild adventures. But it was actually all kind of fun, although Lucca still couldn't help desperately hoping there would be no walking mushrooms, evil turtles or plumbers here.

"It's not Mario and Luigi's castle," Crono announced, sounding disappointed. 

This came as more of a relief than a disappointment to Lucca, but to try and cheer her friend up, she suggested, "well, why don't we go see who _does_ live there?"

Crono's face lit up. "Another princess?" He asked hopefully. 

Lucca smacked him playfully. "You already have a princess! Gees...."

He sighed, "yeah...guess so..."

The two friends approached the castle. As they got closer, they saw a man in green walking towards them.

"He must be very comfortable with his manhood," Lucca giggled. 

"Huh?"

"He's wearing green tights," she whispered, trying not to laugh so loudly the man would hear. Crono stared at her blankly. "Oh, forget it! _I_ thought it was funny," Lucca said crossly. 

"Hello!" The man called, running over. "Who are you?"

"I'm Lucca."

"I'm handsome, dashing _and,_" Crono winked, "_available._" Crono grinned as the man recoiled slightly. He certainly did enjoy screwing with people's minds.

The man stepped back, "uh...that's nice. Well, anyways, I'm-"

"PETER PAN!!" Crono screeched happily, remembering the boy in green tights from his childhood. And this man even had a small fairy, buzzing around his head. Therefore, he _must_ be Peter Pan and she _had_ to be Tinker-bell!

"Crono," Lucca began reproachfully. 

"Who is Peter Pan?" Mr. Green Tights asked, wondering how to get away from these strange new-comers. 

"A little boy in green tights who lives in Never-Never Land," Crono explained, which was, of course, no help at all. "But where's Wendy? I see Tinker-bell right there," he pointed to the fairy.

"What _are_ you babbling about?!"

"Don't mind him," Lucca put in nervously. 

"Can you sing?" Crono asked suddenly. 

"Uh, well, I do play the ocarina rather well..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," sighed the man.

"Peter Pan sings this, 'THE SECOND STAR TO THE RIGHT SHINES IN THE NIGHT FOR YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" Crono bellowed, launching lustily into a song and dance routine. 

Lucca groaned and began to smack herself in the head repeatedly. Crono, having forgotten the rest of the song, began belting out the beginning again. 

"THAT IS THE STUPIDEST SONG I'VE EVER HEARD! And I'm not Peter Pan!"

Crono stopped, mid-note. Lucca quickly clamped her hand over his mouth. "Crono!" She barked. "What's wrong with you?"

"Oops...I forgot...no talkies," Crono said.

"Good boy." She turned to "Peter Pan", who was nervously backing away. "I am _so _sorry, uh...what's your name?"

"Link," Link said, glaring at Crono.

"Right...Link. Don't mind this fruitcake. We got lost, could you tell us where we are?" Lucca asked politely, still clamping her hand over Crono's mouth and struggling to keep a hold on him as he squirmed.

"Beaber baan," he tried to shout at Link.

"Hyrule," Link said coldly, ignoring Crono.

"Uh...Hyrule? Um, this bad Crono. I've never heard of Hyrule."

"Ne niefier," Crono replied, scratching his head.

"We're from Guardia," Lucca informed Link.

He shrugged. "Can't help you there. We don't get many visitors. Why don't you come to the castle with me?"

"That would be great! So sorry to intrude," Lucca said, releasing Crono.

The whole way, Crono bubbled happily about castles, what they looked like, the people who lived there and more. He had only been in two castles before, but he liked them. "I can't wait to see your castle!" He said excitedly, as they began to walk inside.

"Well, you'll just have to wait a little longer," Link announced, slamming the door on Crono's face. 

Crono stared and plopped dejectedly on the ground. He wondered how long Lucca would leave him here, alone. He sighed, feeling incredibly sorry for himself.

Meanwhile, Link was leading Lucca around. "And this is the banquet hall, which underwent reconstruction after a terrible-"

"Um...well, that's all very interesting-" Lucca cut in, eyeing the door.

"Fascinating?" Link interrupted.

Lucca frowned slightly, "yes, of course...fascinating. But uh, about Crono...I know we're guests...um, I mean, you didn't invite us, so I shouldn't complain, but I can't just leave Crono out there! That is...well, who know what crazy ideas will possess him!"

Link shrugged, unconcerned. "He'll be fine. Now in _this_ room, notice the authentic wooden floor...!"

At that exact moment the boy that Lucca was so worried about, was lying in the grass, counting clouds. This was rather difficult, since they all kept moving. He was becoming convinced that Lucca had been kidnapped. As he became increasingly frustrated with the clouds, Lucca was still suffering through "The Grand Tour".

"So...are you a prince?" She asked pleasantly, hoping that Crono hadn't run off.

Link smiled dreamily, "well...not yet."

Lucca blinked, "what?"

"Actually, this is _my_ castle," a soft voice announced. Lucca spun around to see a tall woman with flowing blonde hair and a beautiful blue dress, standing in the doorway. The woman smiled peacefully, "has Link been tormenting you? My apologies."

"Actually, _they_ were tormenting _me_," Link pouted.

"Welcome to Hyrule, my peaceful kingdom. I am Princess Zelda and I see you have already made the acquaintance of my _lovely_ boyfriend, Link."

About this time, Crono was idling braiding grass blades. He was thinking very hard about how to save his best friend and wishing that his girlfriend, Marle was here. He was a little confused, "-because doesn't Peter Pan _rescue _kids? And this does NOT look like Never-Never Land!" He glanced down and saw that he had braided a nearly two-foot rope of grass. The grass here was unusually thick and long. Looking at the grass, an idea suddenly hit him!

"Ow!"

Um-yes, he had a wonderful idea. He struck a heroic pose in case anyone was watching. 

"Eureka!" He cried. His wonderful idea was this: He could make a rope out of grass and climb into the castle to valiantly rescue Lucca. He struck another heroic pose, but still, no one was watching. Sighing, in disappointment he sat down. Then smiling happily, he remembered something. "I always wanted to say "eureka"..." He grinned and started braiding again, silently thanking Marle for teaching him.

As Crono worked away into the night, Lucca was struggling not to yawn. She had been given a nice room for the night, but now, resting on the bed, Link would not go away. He was almost as annoying as Crono!

"-so I busted out my longbow and notched an arrow in it, when this horrible creature snuck up behind me! Luckily, I was armed and ready to fight...I had years of training and other heroic deeds, which I can tell you about later, behind me, so I was about as ready as one could be. Still, this monster was _very_ dangerous. One-no, even three arrows!-sent with my usual precision, failed to send him lumbering off, roaring in pain. Of course, I'm very good at quick thinking-nothing surprises me-so I-" Link exclaimed, the words pouring out of him and tumbling over one other in their excitement to be heard. Lucca felt faint.

She blinked, removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "pardon?"

"I was about to tell you the way that I defeated this horrific beast-"

"I know...I know. Uh, I'm really tired. Maybe Zelda would want to hear this, um, wonderful story," she suggested, flopping back onto the bed.

Link shook his head, apparently at a loss for words. _Well, that's a blessing! _Lucca thought happily and yawned widely. 

"Why don't you tell her?" She asked.

"Because she's already heard it fifty million times," Zelda laughed, appearing in the doorway. "Link, our guest is tired...come, she shall be here in the morning."

Link opened his mouth to protest and quickly shut it again. "All right," he sighed. Then he brightened, "perhaps tomorrow! It's really too scary to be a bedtime story, anyways."

"Yes, it is," Lucca agreed quickly, making plans to leave at dawn the next morning. Link stood up and left the room.

"Everything else all right?" Zelda questioned kindly.

"Oh yes, thank you so much," Lucca said uncomfortably. She wanted to be nice to Zelda, but Link was driving her crazy.

Zelda though, seemed to understand. "Don't mind Link...he's a bit odd. Nice really, but...well, around here, we are not often blessed with the presence of visitors."

"Oh, I understand...it's all right. Thank you," Lucca called, as Zelda left. Sighing contentedly, Lucca turned out all the lights and soon fell fast asleep. 

For her faithful friend, there would be no sleep tonight. "Sleep on, fair maiden! Soon, I shall ascend to thee window and yank thy out onto my rope woven of grass and friendship. Then thee shall be free once more, to turn thee sheen of purple hair to the brightly shining sun," Crono crooned to himself, checking his rope to make sure it was secure and deciding to add another foot or two. A voice stopped him.

"That is the corniest thing I've ever heard!"

"I thought it was _lovely_," someone else whined, sniffing loudly.

"You would," snapped the first voice.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" Demanded the second voice, it's owner sounding ready to pitch a, as the saying goes, royal fit. Crono turned around, grinning from ear to ear.

"Marle! Glenn!" He ran to them, hugging Marle tightly and kissing her. Then, he released her and threw his arms around Glenn. 

"Back ye knave!" Glenn cried, flailing his arms about wildly.

"Ewww...don't kiss him, too..." Marle teased.

Crono reflected for a long moment, "would that make him turn into a prince?"

Glenn looked puzzled. "Why should it?"

"Oh, just something from an old story...this girl kissed a frog and he turned it a prince," Crono remarked casually, completely unaware of the faces Glenn was making.

"I'm not a frog!"

"Don't be silly," Marle said dismissively. "Of course you are..."

"Ribbit...ribbit," Crono whispered in Glenn's ear and then proceeded to hop around in a circle. Glenn groaned and yanked Crono into a headlock.

"Stupid spike-haired kid," he said and looked around. "Hey, where are we?"

"Never-Never Land."

Marle giggled. "Oh Crono, you big silly."

Glenn was not so easily amused, "Crono, tell us where we really are or you're about to be chopped into itty bitty pieces."

"I'm serious," Crono insisted. "Lucca and I met Peter Pan today...he lives there, in that castle!"

Marle frowned. What was wrong with him? She hoped he wasn't delirious, but it seemed highly likely. Peter Pan indeed. She ruminated a moment on the strangeness of her relationship with Crono. There were plenty of boys...well, young men, who were desperately in love with her. Or if they weren't, then they should be! What was wrong with them? She was a beautiful, blonde princess. How dare they not be awed by her royalty, her daring, her beauty...stupid fools.

"Uh...Marle? I asked you a question," Glenn prodded.

"Shut up! You men are all just stupid, stupid, stupid pigs!" Marle screeched, still deep in her thoughts.

Glenn stared at her a moment. "...um...so, by that you mean...of _course_ you'll help, right?"

Marle stalked off. Crono called after her, tentatively, "Marle? You okay?"

"Something I said?" Glenn asked, bemused. Crono shrugged and the two young friends turned back to the more important problem at hand: rescuing Lucca from the evil Peter Pan.

Of course Glenn thought it was all nonsense. Peter Pan...he didn't even know who the guy was! But he wouldn't ask again, no, he had learned his lesson! Ask who Peter Pan was and Crono, no prompting necessary, would burst into song. Glenn wouldn't risk it again. He would though, take the time, and it could be a while, to teach Crono the proper usage of "thee" and "thy". Ascend to "thee window"...really. Even _Crono_ should have known it was "thy window". Stupid spike-haired kid. They'd had an argument about it already, although Glenn had only been in this world for about hour. The debate had gone something like this:

_"Lucca's _where_?!" Glenn had demanded, feeling rather upset to know she was currently inside a tower of the castle, being held hostage. If Crono was to be trusted, that was the way things were..._

"Up in there," Crono repeated, pointing. The window was dark. Glenn hoped it wasn't some kind of tower dungeon or worse. "I told you, Peter Pan captured her and left me out here."

Glenn groaned. "Tell me again...exactly how_ dost thou propose to rescue her?"_

Crono indicated the grass rope again, which now lay coiled at his feet. Glenn, unfortunately, did not know how to braid, so Crono was at work once more. The rope was currently about ten feet long and seemed sturdy enough.

"I see. And which of us dost thou suppose is to climb this contraption?" Glenn asked, secretly quailing at the mental image of himself dangling from a thin rope of grass as he attempted to scale a castle wall with few holds for his feet.

But luckily, Crono replied that he was going to climb. Glenn would supervise from the ground. Glenn fought half-heartedly, not sure he trusted Crono for this job. "YOU? _But Crono...thou dost not even understand the proper usage of old English. How can thee possibly rescue her?!"_

Crono glared at him, "I do TOO understandth the proper way to speak Old English."

Glenn groaned...perhaps he was already too late. Crono, it appeared, was a lost cause. "Listen, Crono...'understandth' 'tis not a word!" Glenn began, feeling he should at least try to explain. "And furthermore, any fool would have known 'tis 'THY window,' not 'thee window'...honestly..."

"I saidith THY window! And who are you calling STUPID?!"

Glenn took a deep breath and then another one. Then another. He tried to restrain himself. "All right, knave. I trust thee to rescue Lucca, for she is thy dear friend. Never mind that thy hair looks like shrubbery, never mind that thy mind art slow, for thou heart is...um...oh, forget it! Just ascend to the window already!"

"I can't...the rope isn't quite long enough. Just a few more minutes..." Crono grumbled, mumbling to himself that if Lucca wasn't his friend, he'd have gone home long ago...Shrubbery indeed!

To make amends, Glenn asked to be told about this mysterious Peter Pan. Crono's eyes had lit up as he launched eagerly into some kind of odd shuffling motion. Glenn hoped the poor boy wasn't sick. By the time Glenn finally realized Crono was attempting to dance, he also understood that the terrible screeching noise was really Crono attempting to carry a tune. Lord, his ears were hurting!

"CRONO!" Glenn yelled, as Crono stopped mid-note and looked up in surprise. "Ahem, ah, yes...'tis better that thee concentrate thy energy upon thy rope, making it strong and true so that thy good intentions may be carried out. That confounded noise-uh, that is, thy music is not necessary. Mayhap 'tis better to lie low and stay quiet."

Crono thought this over solemnly. Yes, Glenn did have a point. Suppose Peter Pan heard Crono singing?

"Cautious, lad...mayhap thy enemies lurk neigh. Shall I search the environs? Well? What say you?" Glenn asked, hoping Crono would agree.

"Huh? Oh, uh...sure, I guess..." Crono mumbled and sat, puzzling over what it was exactly that Glenn had just said.

Glenn tried hard not to jump up and down happily. He rushed off excitedly. Now if Crono were to ignore Glenn's warning that "Peter Pan" might be eavesdropping, at least Glenn wouldn't be there to suffer through another song and dance routine. And so, that was pretty much how things were about the time Marle was running into some trouble of her own...

And that's all I have so far...I'm not even sure how I got the idea for this story, but doesn't Link kind of look like Peter Pan? It all works out so perfectly-he even has a fairy!! lol, well...what did you all think? Should I continue with this? Suggestions are welcome (I'm not exactly sure where Marle has run off to, so any ideas would be great!) Please review, flames are okay. Thanx! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	2. In Which Marle is Attacked By Bats and L...

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I updated! I kind of forgot about this story...-_-' But anyway, thanx so much to my reviewers, you don't know what it means to me! By the way, Dr. Lauryl, this is probably only going to get more insane as it goes one...it probably is the stress of school, but then again it could just be the strange inner-workings of my mind. Your pick. Thanks everyone for reviewing: Imania, Sailor Leo (lol, magus and ganondorf...oh the possibilities! ^_^), Rhianwen, Dr. Lauryl, Dr. Pix, and Tigere. Hope you enjoy this next part! ~CronoCat =^_^=

Disclaimer: I don't own Crono Trigger or Zelda, which is probably a good thing as this is what I'd end up doing with it!! Oh and I also don't own Peter Pan, which I'm actually feeling proud of right about now. I mean, what the heck is this Peter Pan 2: Return to Never Land nonsense?!?! Return to Never Land was SO MY IDEA FIRST!! lol. Honestly...

****

Ch. 2: In Which Marle Is Attacked By Bats and Link Has A Long One-Sided Conversation__

**Flashback (since it's been so long since I updated!!)**

Glenn tried hard not to jump up and down happily. He rushed off excitedly. Now if Crono were to ignore Glenn's warning that "Peter Pan" might be eavesdropping, at least Glenn wouldn't be there to suffer through another song and dance routine. And so, that was pretty much how things were about the time Marle was running into some trouble of her own...

**END OF FLASHBACK!**

Running through the moonlight forest, her blonde hair streaming behind, came the Princess of Guardia. She paused, panting for breath and muttered to herself, "pigs! They're all pigs...I don't understand why I didn't see it before!" And then ran on into the night. 

It was in this particular state, that she bumped into Navi. Navi had been feeling restless and unable to sleep, which had led to her decision for a midnight flight around the woods. Link would never miss her; he was too infatuated with that new girl...Lucy or something. Zelda didn't seem to mind, but it was bothering Navi a little more than she might have wanted to admit. 

And then there was that beautiful stranger...she sighed loudly, picturing his shining green eyes and bright red hair. His hair was so beautiful-like a small fire atop his head. It suited him well. She allowed herself to think for a moment that perhaps he might like her too. After all, he had already given her a nick name: Tinkerbell. What an absolutely lovely name! It was, of course, a little odd. She did prefer Navi, but he had a certain happy way of saying it, that she liked being called Tinkerbell. A nick name was a sure sign of affection, wasn't it? She wondered about his home and had a glimpse of the future: herself resting in his lush hair as they admired the sights of his homeland together. He would say his homeland was even more beautiful than he remembered, hinting that when he was with her, she made everything something special.

Navi giggled shrilly, happily enjoying her thoughts. And then, mid-giggle, collided with someone. Navi tried to scream, but all the hair had been knocked out of her and she fell silently to the ground.

Now, as it happened, Marle had an intense fear of bats. As no one could remember any traumatic happenings with bats when she was younger, it was unknown where this fear had originated. However, it was there and Marle was very much afraid.

"OH, MY GOD! Oh, my God...Oh, my God, there's a BAT!! A filthy, stinky, dirty, BLOOD-SUCKING BAT IN _MY HAIR!!!!_" Marle screeched and began to smack her hair frantically. "Get it out! Get it out! Oh, my God-GET IT OUT!" She wailed hysterically. After a moment she stopped beating her hair and remembered something: bats went for the neck! Everyone knew that if a bat bit you on the neck you turned into one too...or was that vampires? Whichever, Marle clamped her hands over her neck and closed her eyes. _This is all a dream,_ she thought, trying to calm herself down. But then she heard a fluttering sound down by her feet and knew for certain it was not a dream. She began to scream some more and jump up and down.

Beneath her feet, Navi rolled this way and that in a panic. She had injured a wing in the fall and she was quite sure she would not survive with this wild elephant trampling through the forest and trumpeting in fear. Finally, in-between Marle's screams, Navi cried out, "STOP! Please STOP!"

"It talks...?" Marle murmured uncertainly. Bats did not talk. She was almost positive about that.

"IT'S ME! NAVI, THE FAIRY!" Navi went on quickly.

"A fairy?" Marle asked, slowly removing her hands from her neck. "Bats and fairies are completely different things. Fairies aren't scary at all," she whispered.

"HELP ME! I CAN'T GET UP!"

Marle cautiously bent down and opened her hands, palms up, on the ground. "Climb into my hands, little fairy..."

Navi hesitated only a moment. _What if she keeps me and puts me in a jar? What if I never see Link again? _Then she remembered Lucy or whoever that girl was and climbed into this other girl's hands.

Marle stood up carefully and held the fairy at eye level. "I'm Marle. You just saved me from a big, scary bat. Thank you."

Navi was a little perplexed by this, but she smiled benignly and nodded. "I've never seen you before."

"Oh, I just got here. Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine, thank you. I just can't fly right away. Probably by tomorrow, I will be able too."

"That's good," Marle said absently and went on, "I only just got here today, you see. I came with my friend, Glenn."

She balanced Navi on her shoulder and kept walking through the forest. "I don't know how to get home now. Do you know a place where we can stay?"

Navi thought it over for a minute. The castle was out of the question, but there was a little cave back farther in the forest. She directed Marle to it and they both fell asleep almost immediately.

Meanwhile...Link tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. When he had first moved into the castle, Zelda had helped him hang a little basket on a long chain from the ceiling. They had put little blankets and pillows in it and that was where Navi slept every night. The basket hung a few feet from the window and was next to Link's bed. He could reach out with his arm and just touch it with his fingertips. Since the basket was above him, he couldn't see Navi in there. She was being very quiet tonight. He assumed she had retired early, as he hadn't seen her since about halfway through the Grand Tour. It hadn't surprised him; Navi hated it when he tried to show off. And knowing her, she was probably lying there, also unable to sleep. He reached out and spun the basket gently.

"...Navi? You awake?"

No answer.

Link lunged out and spun the basket a little more violently. "Navi! Are you awake?!"

Still no answer. Link settled back into bed. Okay, so she was angry at him. Navi never slept hard enough to sleep right through him spinning the basket like that. Therefore, she must be ignoring him.

He sighed. "Are you mad at me, Navi? Just say yes or no...it's okay. ...All right, I guess that's a yes. Why are you so upset? Was it something I said? ...Navi? ...okay, okay, I'm guessing you think I should already know, so you're not going to say anything, right? Well, fine, be that way. I'm not a freaking mind reader, okay? Jeez..."

Link knew perfectly well how upset Navi could get about small things. And he knew she was probably having no trouble ignoring him, but he wasn't ready to give up.

"I can't sleep. I know you're awake too. What do you say we talk awhile?"

Silence.

"What did you think of those visitors? That boy with the orange hair-what a freak! I think he must be neurotic. Who the _hell _is that Peter Pan character he was talking about anyway? And...what was that he called you? ....Oh, yeah, I've got it. _Tinkerbell. _What kind of name is that?"

He heard a rustling sound from the basket. It was either the wind or Navi turning over to hear him better. Link was inclined to think it was the latter and he rushed on.

"But Lucca...man, what a girl! Now she's a good visitor to have. Of course, she wasn't as attentive during the Grand Tour as I would have liked, but towards the end, I could tell she was interested, but totally trying to hide it, because of her friend. I like that kind of loyalty between friends. Do you think we're like that at all? ....well, do you?"

Link gave up waiting for an answer, "I do. And I have a feeling you're mad at me for showing off during the Grand Tour, right? Well, I'm sorry about that. I guess I just got a little carried away. And I know, I know, I shouldn't be worried about impressing her when I've got Zelda, but...well, you know how rare visitors are. I just got a little excited. I'm sorry."

He turned over. What was the use? Navi was clearly not going to forgive him. A few minutes later, Link was sound asleep. When Zelda came to check in on him, she saw the moon shining on Link's sleeping face and on the empty basket.

Outside, Glenn had returned to find Crono's rope finished.

"It's time," Crono said grimly, trying to sound like James Bond. "Let's go get the girl!"

Glenn groaned. "Just get up there already!" He hissed and Crono flung the rope up the side of castle. It fell back down. Crono tried again. The rope came back down and tangled itself around both Crono and Glenn.

"Aack!" Crono yelped, struggling to untangle himself.

Glenn tried to pull away, but the rope was holding him tightly in place.

"Don't break it!" Crono whispered. "I worked hard on this!"

Glenn ignored Crono and managed to drag him over to where his sword was lying in the grass.

Crono kicked the sword away.

Glenn kicked Crono.

A few minutes later they were both rolling on the ground, fighting each other.

"Give me my sword knave!" Glenn cried.

"NEVER!"

"Dost thou propose to save Lucca or not?"

"Of course, I proposeth to saveth her! Now GET OFF!"

"I cannot, knave. Thy confounded rope is wrapped around me! And," Glenn took a deep breath, "'proposeth' and 'saveth' are NOT WORDS!"

Crono groaned. Not this again...

In the tower, Lucca slept on, unaware that her would-be rescuers were unable to get up and were tied together on the ground. Across the hall, Zelda dreamed of pink dresses and blue dresses and even one green dress with a lot of lace. In the next bedroom over, Link murmured on, still half-talking to Navi and half-talking to Lucca. And in a cave, deep in the forest, Navi lay curled up in Marle's hair and wished that it was Crono's hair. And Marle lay dreaming of returning home and having any man she wished, but she would break all their hearts, because men, were nothing but pigs.


	3. The Dark and Scary Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, Chrono Trigger _or _Zelda...siiiiiiiiiiigh....

A/N: Well, I meant to have this out by Valentine's Day, but I wasn't really in a dark and scary mood then...and the network was being slow, because of FictionPress...which is pretty cool, so if anyone writes original stuff, go check it out! And NOW-INTRODUCING!!!: Another wild, crazy and insane chapter...SURPRISE! I bet no one saw that coming...thanx for the reviews, you guys rock my world!! Now, go read and write some more reviews! ~CronoCat =^_^=

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Chapter Three: The Dark and Scary Chapter

In Hyrule, our cast of characters slept on peacefully. Miles away, in a different game altogether, one man was still awake. Over a bubbling pot he stood, watching at storm rage outside the walls. Lightening flashed, illuminating his sharp, pale features. He looked rather sickly and his skin was practically white-as if he had never seen the natural light of day. His hair was bluish in color and oddly shaped. It was long and seemed greased into a sharp, deadly curve, like the shape of his scythe. He was a dark and scary man.

He lived in a big castle in the middle of nowhere. It was a very dark and scary place. He laughed manically to himself as thunder boomed. It was a dark and scary night. In the flashes of lightening, his scythe gleamed in a deadly-and also dark and scary-way. It was, altogether, a rather dark and scary spectacle.

Now Magus, for this was his name, was feeling really quite bored. "It's all fine and good fun to be dark and scary," he thought, "but it's terribly boring when there's no one to act dark and scary _towards_."

At that moment, one of his cronies knocked on the door. Magus barked that the door was open and the plump, blue fellow waddled in. He bowed low and gave his report.

"O, Dark and Scary One, My Liege Magus, I bring you new of the Most Ditzy One, Our _Beloved _Princess Nadia."

At this, Magus' ears perked. Ah, now here was a spot of fun-torturing Marle and her geeky friends. "Go on..."

"I spotted her this afternoon, with He Who Should Still Be A Frog. They were climbing into a strange device shaped a bit like a telephone booth."

"A teleporter...hmm..." Magus muttered to himself and then added to the crony, "where were they?"

"My Liege, there were at the house of She Who Always Wears A Helmet. I overheard them say Helmet Head had gone off with Boy With Really Bad Hat Hair."

Magus nodded thoughtfully, wondering _WHO_-in the name of all that is evil!-had created these code names! Still, he knew who the crony was talking about and was already beginning to lay out plans in his head. Perhaps he would turn Glenn back into a frog and the others into flies. By the time Glenn realized he had eaten his friends, it would be too late! But before Magus could begin his evil laugh, there was a knock on the door.

"Oh, Magus! Open up-it's me, Ozzie!"

"_Lock the door-QUICK!" _Magus hissed to the crony. "Uh, don't come in...I'm-" Magus called to Ozzie and tried to think of what he could be doing.

"CHANGING!" The crony piped up.

_"CHANGING? Is that the BEST you can come up with? I'm an EVIL MAGE here!! Are you TRYING to ruin my reputation?" _Magus hissed and smacked the crony.

The crony cowered in the corner, but was saved from immediate further harm when someone else approached the door.

"Oy, Ozzie! Have you done the laundry yet?" It was Flea, the local transvestite, calling out in a low-pitched voice.

"Um...nooo..."

"Tsk, tsk," sighed Flea. "You're a terrible liar."

"What are you talking about?!" Ozzie demanded.

"Oh, nothing. Say, you wouldn't happened to have _stolen _anything, would you?"

"N-no..."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOU'RE WEARING MY _BRA!"_ Flea wailed, his voice going up a good two or three octaves.

The crony shuddered and barely managed to keep Magus from gouging his own eyes out with his scythe.

"Oh, great! You STRETCHED IT OUT!! It's **_HUGE NOW! _**I can't wear THIS!" Flea went on, but Magus had already escaped out the window. The frantic crony soon discovered he was too fat to fit and was stuck, half in and half out, forced to listen to the rest of the conversation. Although Magus was mostly unharmed, the crony suffered attacks of severe paranoia, a high fever, terrible nightmares from the scarring mental images and also, a long-lasting case of pneumonia, due to the fact that it started raining while he was half out the window.

Magus made his way--very quickly--away from the castle and more importantly, away from Ozzie and Flea. He went to Lucca's house and crept into the back yard. He knew it the minute he saw it-a teleporter!

"Now then..." Magus muttered, climbing inside. He inspected everything carefully. "If I was a stupid spike-haired kid, where would I go...?" Suddenly, he spotted a big, shiny, red button. "Aha!" Magus cried and punched it; there was no doubt in his mind. Crono was, after all, nothing but a mute buffoon and therefore, easily attracted to shiny things in general.

Magus flew through time and space, grateful that he did not develop a severe case of motion sickness. When the world stopped spinning, he found himself lying facedown in the grass. He stood up, dusted himself off and--in the dark--nearly walked right into the giant, stone wall of a castle.

"Well, that was easy." Magus chuckled to himself and walked up to the front gate, still talking, "it's a known fact that any princess, when lost, makes for a castle. And, for that matter, so do frog knights! Because of these well-known truths, it is only a matter of time before I watch Frog eat his own friends! Bwhahahahahahahaha!!!"

The still night air rang with his dark and scary laugh.

And Ganodorf, sitting up in the tower of that same castle, knew instantly that another dark and scary man had come to Hyrule at last!

Ganodorf hobbled down the stairs. He was still rather weak, because he was recovering from the last time Link had killed him. That made four times now, but luckily, Ganodorf was not the kind to be easily discouraged. He _would_ win in the end!

He opened the door, but no one was there. Where was the evil laughter? The night was silent and Ganodorf was disappointed. As he turned to go back inside, he was hit over the head with the flat of Magus's scythe. Magus began to laugh evilly again as Ganodorf fell down.

"Hey! That really hurt!" He exclaimed, sitting back up.

"Shut up, you. You're unconscious!"

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you really are. Be quiet!" Magus commanded and hit him again.

"Ow! Hey-quit it already!"

"Gah! What's wrong with you?"

"I should be asking _you _that. What gives you the right to barge in and knock me over the head like that?!"

Magus began to smack him over the head repeatedly. "I said, SHUT UP!"

Ganodorf managed to roll away after the third hit. "Look, I don't even know you...maybe we could have tea or something first?" Under his breath he added, "tea with arsenic..."

Magus stopped. "Actually, I'm very thirsty...but first, I'm going to turn you back into a frog!"

"WHAT?!"

"That's rig-hey...you're not Frog! Who the hell are you?"

"I'm not exactly sure, actually..." Ganodorf replied, rubbing his head. "I don't remember anything other than you beating me senseless."

"Oh, sleep it off," Magus brushed him aside. "Now, where are you hiding him? Where is Frog? Or maybe he told you his name was Glenn. So...WHERE IS HE?!"

"I don't know any frogs....or a frog named Glenn. Did you lose your frog?"

Magus hit him once more for good measure, then proceeded to tell his whole story. Dawn found the two villains really drinking tea--without arsenic--and discussing plans for capturing Glenn. It didn't take them long to come up with a plan. And it was a good plan--a _DARK AND SCARY _plan.....

Well...what do you think? Dark and scary enough for ya? Lol and how 'bout that cliffhanger! heehee...well, that's all for this time! More coming as soon as I figure out what's going to happen next......


	4. In Which Lucca Does Some Spring Cleaning...

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Disclaimer: Sadly...I still don't own anything except the crazy plot line and ideas for this story. But I'm sure that neither the creators of Chrono Trigger nor the creators of Zelda would even _want _to lay claim to that. lol...oh well. Enjoy!

A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing! It means so much to me...You guys are the best!!: Dr. Lauryl (yes, I'm aware that I'm crazy, but what can you do? ^_^), luccamajere26, Kakyaa (that's my favorite part too!! lol, why is the violence so funny?!), Imania, and Rhianwen. 

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Chapter Four: In Which Lucca Does Some Spring Cleaning While Our Warriors Do Some Rescuing

Morning found Lucca already awake and preparing her escape. There was only one window in her tower room and it was a long way down. Lucca shuddered, but set about trying to invent something that would get her safely to firm ground. Then she would go make sure Crono hadn't died out in the wild overnight.

Feeling it was a bit cliché and that she could have come up with better, Lucca began tying the bed sheets together. By the time she had pulled the fourth sheet from the bed, she was starting to feel confused. And by the time she had linked nine sheets and one thick comforter together, she had a sense of the surreal.

"Is it really _that_ cold here? Oh, my God--poor Crono!" Lucca muttered, still fervently knotting the ends together. (Little did she know that having ample bedding was a Hyrulian tradition from at least three years ago, when Zelda realized she had accidentally ordered 100 blankets instead of 10. But hey, everyone makes mistakes!) 

Soon she had a good fifteen sheets and blankets tied together and when she lowered them down from the tower, she figured she could just jump the last four feet to the ground. Suddenly someone began to knock on the door. Lucca pulled the sheets up and shoved a huge, ornate wardrobe in front of the door. Clouds of dust floated up, making her cough loudly.

"Lucca? Are you okay?!" Cried Link, valiantly trying to open the door.

"Fine, fine..." Lucca coughed.

"What are you doing in there?"

"Why...nothing. Nothing at all. You just woke me up actually," Lucca responded innocently, hoping Link was half deaf and hadn't heard the noise of the wardrobe scooting across the floor.

"It sounds like you're moving furniture in there..." So much for that idea. Lucca sighed.

"What furniture?"

"Um...well, I can't be exactly sure, but it sounded a _lot _like the antique wardrobe in there was just pushed from the far corner of the room to in front of this door."

Lucca cursed silently. "Oh, _that_ furniture!" She called gaily.

"Yeah...."

"I was just doing some spring cleaning!" Lucca yelled from underneath the bed where she was rapidly attaching her chain of bedding.

"Oh, right. Spring cleaning," Link said dismissively. "Say, how 'bout some breakfast?"

"Oh...um...maybe later."

"I've got some right here...I'll bring it in."

"No!" Lucca called, jumping out from under the bed and checking to see if her escape "rope" was secure. "I...um...that is...well, gee, Link-don't you know you should _never_ move furniture on a full stomach?"

"Uh...I haven't heard that one before..."

"_Really?" _Lucca laughed, sounding slightly panicky. "I thought _everyone_ knew that."

"Well..."

Lucca was hit with sudden inspiration. "Say Link!"

"Yeah?"

"That story you were telling me last night was absolutely incredible!"

"You really think so?!"

"Sure...your...bravery and stunning...um, courage... (A/N: oh, Lucca...a little repetitive, ne?) Why, if I hadn't been so tired last night, I'm sure I would have wanted to hear the story over and over again." She swung one leg out the window.

"Wow..." Link said and then added quickly, "well, ahem, I guess my deeds are quite impressive! Y'know...I don't believe I ever finished that story!"

Lucca rolled her eyes, but called sweetly, "well, how about you do that now? It will make my...spring cleaning go faster!"

On the other side of the door, Link was nearly jumping for joy. After all, no one ever asked to hear his stories. He had always had to force the _privilege _on them. He got so choked up, it took him a while to finished clearing his throat. And by that time, Lucca was gone.

***

She slid down the sheets, pleased to realized that they would hold, but then realized what had looked like four feet from the window was closer to six or seven feet. Lucca closed her eyes and did some rapid calculations.

"Okay, given that the wind speed is roughly 10 mph and I weigh about 120 pounds and the distance between me and the ground is...oh, seven feet...then..."

After a moment or two, Lucca decided if she flung herself outwards, away from the castle wall and managed to land on her feet, she would only have a sprained ankle. That was, she soon became convinced, the best choice. And also, it was all she had.

Her eyes still tightly closed, she swung out from the castle wall, released the sheets at precisely the right second, screamed and fell on to something that made a loud "omf!" noise. She could feel herself and the something else rolling down a hill. And when she opened her eyes, she could see the blue sky and the green grass...blue and green, blue and green...

At the bottom of the hill, Lucca attempted to stand, but found that she was covered in...grass?! It appeared to be in some kind of rope form and Lucca was thoroughly tangled in it. There was a slight coughing noise and Lucca turned her head, only to find herself staring directly into two large green eyes.

"AAAAAAH!"

"LUCCA!!"

"...Crono? Oh, my God! You just about gave me a heart attack!"

"Haha, I knew I'd save you," Crono laughed. "Didn't I tell you, Glenn? Didn't I?!"

"Mmph," Glenn muttered sourly.

"Oh, Glenn! I didn't know you were here too," Lucca said brightly.

He scowled. "Thy foolish friend hath nearly killed us all!"

"Don't be silly! We're HEROES, Glenn! We saved Lucca!" Crono cried excitedly.

"Um...one small question, Crono: now that you've saved me, why are we all tied up in a rope made out of grass?"

"This is my amazing 'Saving Lucca: Plan A' rope," Crono explained. "Glenn helpedith meith..."

"GAH! Why art thou so frustrating?!"

"Um...right..." Lucca muttered and quickly ripped the rope apart. "Well," she said, standing up and dusting herself off, "that was relatively easy. How long have you two been tangled up like that?"

For once, both warriors were silent. They stared at the ground silently, then at the sky and then everywhere but at Lucca. She decided to let it go.

"Well guys, let's go home!"

A/N: *gasp!* But, what about Marle?! Are they just going to leave her there? And what about Magus and Ganondorf's dark and scary plan? Will they have time to start that?? IS THIS THE END OF OUR TIME IN HYRULE?! lol, well...probably not...but I just thought my ending was such a sucky cliffhanger, that I'd better make sure to snag everyone's attention...anyway. Find out next time on: WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE: A CronoCat original!!!! ^_^ 


	5. In Which Marle and Navi Attempt to Fend ...

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A/N: Well, here I am--back again! YAAAAAY! Sorry about the wait--I've been under a lot of school stress...blah. Anywho. This chapter is rather random (was there ever one that wasn't?!) but I hope you'll review and all that jazz. You guys are the best!! Thanks to luccamajere26 (I love the way Crono _can't_ speak old English!), Imania (actually...I don't know what they're up to either. hehe, any ideas?), HellHades (thank you!! I'm really glad you're enjoying my...oddness) and of course, Dr. Skipping-out-on-me-to-go-on-spring-break (I mean...Dr. Lauryl...oh well, I forgive ya!) Thanks again! Don't forget to review!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: Not much has changed since the last chapter...I still haven't earned massive amounts of money and bought out Squaresoft. So, surprise, surprise, I still don't own anything here but the plot and out of character characters! ^_^ Does that make sense? 

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Chapter Five: In Which Marle and Navi *Attempt* to Fend for Themselves

Crono, Glenn and Lucca started walking when suddenly, Crono stopped.

"Hey, wait a second...wait about Marle?!"

"She's here too?" Lucca cried.

"She came with me," Glenn answered. "Then she ran off into the night. Mayhap she hath gotten lost?"

"Wouldn't surprise me..." Lucca groaned. "Oh, that bubblehead!"

Crono rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "She said something about men being pigs and then ran away."

"Well, why didn't you go after her?"

"We had to save you!" Crono replied promptly.

Lucca sighed. "Which direction did she run off in?"

Immediately, both Glenn and Crono pointed in opposite directions.

"GAH! Can this _be _more frustrating?!" Lucca cried.

"Crono! Thy arm 'tis pointing the wrong direction. I'm positive that Marle went _that_ direction."

"Shut up, Glenn. She's _my_ girlfriend. I'm sure _I _was paying more attention!"

"Ha! Thou was immersed in creating a rope out of GRASS!" Glenn yelled angrily.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"

"NO!" Both Lucca and Glenn yelled. Crono backed away, covering his ears. Honestly. He sighed; his friends simply did not recognize an ingenious plan when they saw one.

"Mayhap Marle lurk neigh? Let us search the environs..." Glenn suggested.

Lucca rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Glenn-I doubt wherever Marle is that she's _lurking..._"

Glenn blushed slightly. "I'll just go search over YONDER!" He called and ran off, his two friends close at his heels.

As they ran, Lucca turned to Crono thoughtfully. "Didn't Glenn say almost that exact same line once before?"

"Um...maybe...Once he starts talking like that, I never pay any attention," Crono admitted.

"You and Marle must be destined for each other," Lucca sighed.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing..." Lucca responded, thinking to herself: _wow--they're both ditzy!_

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MEANWHILE...ELSEWHERE...

"I'm hungry!" Marle whined.

Navi buzzed around her head impatiently. "Go out and find something to eat then..."

Grumbling, Marle walked out of the cave and started looking for food. Some she came across a strange three-leafed plant. "Hmm...this looks edible..."

Using a dagger Crono had given her for her last birthday, she gathered up some of the vegetation and scooped it into her quiver. Then she carried it all back to the cave and made Navi gather sticks.

"Oh, yay," Navi cried sarcastically. "Cooked plant!" But she went out all the same and got the sticks. The two of them threw the sticks and logs in a big pile and looked for a way to start a fire.

"God! Every time I try, the wood just won't light!" Marle complained.

"It's soaking wet..." Navi said, holding up a dripping twig.

"Stupid water magic."

"Well...what now? Got a match?"

"No. You?"

"What? Do I _look _like a smoker to you?!" Navi cried in frustration.

Marle giggled. "I guess I have to say no, but only because a cigarette is bigger than you!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"All right, all right. Forget it. What did you find to eat?" Navi sighed.

Marle smiled brightly. "Plants! Hope you're a vegetarian."

"Bah!" Navi groaned. "Mm...man, I could really go for some red meat right about now."

"Eeww..." Marle made a face. "I thought fairies were supposed to be all springy and sunshiney and um...really in tune with nature."

"I'm all those things," Navi insisted.

"But...if fairies make the flowers bloom and stuff...it just seems weird for them to be eating meat."

"Well, obviously you just don't know anything about the fine, inner-workings of a fairy's mind," Navi said snobbishly.

Marle made a face. "Obviously not." She sighed and turned her attention back to the plants. "Well...shall we eat?"

They were just about to pick up the plants when they heard a loud crashing sound coming towards them. Marle's eyes widened in surprise and she covered her mouth to keep from screaming. What if it was a huge, monster bat coming to eat her?! She began to tremble. What if it tried to suck her blood or got tangled up in her hair?! She moved one hand to cover her pony-tail and the other to cover her neck. But then, she couldn't keep a hand over her mouth and she screamed loud enough to shatter glass. Beside her, Navi fell to the ground, covering her ears. Was this the end?! Would Marle ever see her home again?! She shrieked loudly in terror. This also worked well as a self-defense mechanism since her voice was high-pitched enough to cause someone to have a concussion.

"Hearken! Thou hearest that?"

"Ow...um, what did you just say, Glenn? I can't hear a thing..."

"Must be Marle! I'd recognize that beautiful voice anywhere!"

"Bitten by one too many love bugs in the ear, eh Crono?"

"Mayhap the knave hath been forced to always say nice things about his lady-love."

"Ooo! Like a mind spell!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of her royal tantrums," Glenn commented dryly, his old English way of talking disappearing for a moment.

Marle jumped happily out of the cave and bounded through the bushes. "CRONO!" She cried, throwing her arms around him.

"Hey, Marle! We've been looking for you," Lucca said, smiling.

"Shall we move homewards, milady Marle?" Glenn asked rather sarcastically.

Marle stuck her tongue out at him, but managed to it in as ladylike a way as possible. Then she remembered the fairy. "NAVI!" She screeched and darted back into the cave.

Glenn and Lucca looked at each other nervously. "Has she been alone too long?" Lucca asked.

"Mayhap thy friend hath invented a language of her own device."

"Mayhap...hehe, I mean maybe." Lucca giggled and followed Crono through the foliage to the cave.

They found Marle sitting on the ground crying. She was holding what appeared to be a doll in her hands. Crono eyed her nervously, then hesitantly put a hand on Marle's shoulder.

"Oh, Crono...is she dead?!" Marle wept, remembering all the fun times she and Navi had had together. (A/N: what fun times?! Marle's just being a drama queen--as usual. ^.^)

"Um..." Crono began expertly. He wasn't exactly a doctor.

"Is that a...fairy in thy hands?! She appears to be breathing, Marle. Dry your tears...see? Her chest hath begun to move up and down again."

Instead of cheering up, Marle spun around, glaring daggers at the knight. "You PERVERT!" She screamed. "How _dare_ you look at her chest?! Taking advantage of her just because she's unconscious and small!"

Glenn turned bright red and tried to explain--he really had meant nothing save to calm his friend down. It had never occurred to him that he shouldn't comment on such matters. He excused himself quickly from the cave.

"Geez, Marle. That's not what he meant!" Lucca cried. "He was just trying to help."

"He can't help! _NO ONE_ can help!" Marle wailed. Crono back away nervously.

"Oh, come on now. I'm sure the fairy will be all right..."

"Not unless you know Fairy CPR!" Marle said, a fresh wave of tears running down her face.

Lucca held up her hands-a help-me sort of gesture. "Crono do something!" She implored. Marle turned to look at Crono too, a begging look in her eyes.

Crono shrugged. "I'm...er...I'm hardly experienced in the area of fairies..."

Marle suddenly remembered why she had run away--men were pigs. And this was more proof! Look how men responded to a creature in need!! "Out! Get out!" She cried angrily, jumping to her feet and dropping Navi to the floor. (A/N: such a good caretaker, ne?)

"Hey!" Lucca cried, interrupting the beginnings of a fight. "What's this?" She nudged the plants on the floor with the tip of her boot.

"Our breakfast," Marle said prissily, rushing over to gather it up and take it away from Lucca. Lucca threw her arm out to keep her best friend back.

"Have you already touched this?" She demanded.

Marle stopped, bewildered. "Yes...no! No..." She said.

Lucca sighed. "Which one?"

"No. I used a dagger and caught the stalks in my quiver, okay?"

"Good. Were you...really going to eat _this_?" Lucca questioned, pinching one of the plants between two sticks and lifting it up.

Marle's chin went up. "Yes."

The corner of Lucca's lip twitched and there was a strange gleam in her eye. "Don't ever become a biologist, Marle. I'd hate for you to advise anyone to eat poison ivy."

***

Outside the cave, Glenn sulked. It was rude to refer to a lady's chest, but something had to be done to console Marle. Although he often didn't acknowledge it, he would have hated to see something bad happen to Marle. This was mainly because she was part of the royal family, but also because she was, oddly enough, his friend. He leaned up against a tree, sighing. The woods out here were beautiful. From inside the cave he could hear Marle screaming 'pigs!' again. He pulled a small book out from under his cloak and began to read. He was so immersed in it that he never saw the net flying towards him. He didn't think to cry out until it was pulled tight and he found himself being dragged along the forest floor. And when poor Glenn finally did call out to his friends, Marle happened to scream at the same time. _Stupid melodramatic tomboy Princess,_ thought Glenn and blacked out.

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A/N: Duh dun dunnnn!! *scary music* What will happen next? Hehe--hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I sense it's time for another **_DARK AND SCARY_** chapter! *more scary music!* Until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	6. In Which There Are Evil Catfights and Dr...

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Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or Crono Trigger...it's a sad life...

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A/N: Well, this just keeps getting weirder and weirder! I can't believe I'm up to _SIX WHOLE CHAPTERS!!_ Wow...that's incredible! Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers as usual. If you're reading this and you haven't reviewed yet...**WHY NOT?!?! **heehee, please leave me a review! You might get to see some of your ideas in the next chapter! (someone suggested Magus and Ganondorf should have a fight over who is more evil, well, wait 'til you see _this_ chapter! I think you can sort of figure it out by the title...) Anyway. Thanks so much--I love you guys! ^_~ well, until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=

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Chapter Six: In Which There Are Evil Catfights And Dreams Coming True

Magus paused to wipe the sweat from his brow. Who knew that his old nemesis was so heavy? "If you ever get free from us, remember to loose some weight, Frog Boy!" Magus cackled, stopping to kick Glenn.

Ahead of him, Ganondorf skipped happily through the forest. "Hurry up, Oh Dark and Scary One!"

"I'm the one giving the orders around here!" Magus barked.

"Why?!" Ganondorf demanded, pouting slightly.

Magus caught up to him and whacked him once with the scythe for good measure. "Because I'm _far_ more evil than you!"

"WHAT?! That's SO not true! I can be evil!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me, oh Evil One. What truly evil plans have _you_ ever come up with?" Magus asked sarcastically.

Ganondorf glared at him. "Hey, I kidnapped Zelda!"

"Who is this Zelda you speak of?"

"The local princess," Ganondorf explained.

"Bah! _Anyone_ can kidnap a princess! That's easy. Don't tell me that's all the evil you've ever done!"

Ganondorf looked at the ground.

Magus rolled his eyes. "And you call yourself _EVIL?!_" He smacked Ganondorf twice more. "Look at me! I'm evil! I'm the _epitome_ of evil! Look at this build!" He cried, raising his hands to the sky. Thunder boomed. Magus laughed manically and flexed his muscles.

"Oh, yeah?! Well...I...uh..." Ganondorf retorted, or tried to retort anyway.

Magus brought the scythe down, narrowly missing Ganondorf's head. "How many times has the hero of this world beaten you?"

"Well, I've been killed four times, but--"

"FOUR?! You're a disgrace! A freaking disgrace!" Magus shouted angrily. "I'm ashamed of you! What, in the name of all that is evil, convinced you that you could aspire to become a villain?! I'm practically a _GOD OF EVIL_ next to some fruit like you!" He ranted.

"At least I'm determined," Ganondorf piped up.

"Determined?! You think I became evil because I was _determined? _Oh no! I'm an evil mage, because I have a _sick and twisted soul!! _Bwhahahahahahaha!"

"Some sick and twisted soul if you ended up joining the heroes!" Ganondorf replied sullenly.

"What?! Who told you that? I never did that!" Magus cried frantically.

Ganondorf began to sense he still had a chance to prove his evilness. "What kind of _loser_ gets beaten by the hero and then joins them to help save the world?!"

"They never beat me!" Magus roared.

"Hey, at least I didn't help Link finish me off!" Ganondorf cried. "At least I'm the main evil villain of this game!"

"Some wussy game," Magus said, more calmly now.

But Ganondorf only laughed. "You're just jealous! You know what you are? A SIDE-LINE VILLAIN! One of the really unimportant ones! _You're_ not the guy who is working for world domination. _You're_ not the really powerful one bent on destroying all! No! Instead you agree to help the _heroes SAVE THE FRICKING WORLD!_" 

"Hey, at least _my_ evil plans are more original than kidnapping princesses, Ganon_dork_!!" Magus shot back.

"What did you just call me?"

"Ganon_dork, _Ganon_DORK, _GANON_DORK, DORK, DORK, DORK!_" Magus cried.

"Oh, no you didn't!" Ganondork...that is, Ganondorf gasped, and made wild hand motions.

"Did you just z-snap me?!" Magus asked, incredulous.

"Yeah! What are you gonna do about it, punk!?"

"_THIS!_" Magus cried. "Oh, how I love senseless violence!" And with that, he began beating Ganondorf with his scythe..._again._

And so the morning passed...

***

Back at the cave, Crono and Lucca held a whispered conference as Marle wept buckets.

"Crono, do something!" Lucca said, for the second time that day.

"Like what?"

"I don't know--fix it!" Lucca whispered, shaking Crono's arm violently.

He moved away from her. "You're the one who fixes things. You're the inventor. _You_ do something."

"Crono," Lucca said, exasperated. "I fix _things!_ Not people, not...fairies. Besides, let's face it: I blow things up. Am I really the one you want to fix this problem?"

"I trust you not to blow up a small creature," Crono said seriously.

"Well, I don't! Just...go try to comfort Marle, okay? I'll see if I can rack my amazing brain for a solution."

So Crono walked over. Marle sobbed louder every time he tried to talk to her. Crono--having been Marle's boyfriend for exactly 257 days, 6 hours, 33 minutes and 14 seconds (not that he was counting or anything...)--knew when his girlfriend didn't want to talk to him. He focused on the fairy instead. With great care, Crono picked her up from the cave floor. For a second he just held her in the palm of his hand, unsure of what to do next. That was when Marle realized that he was holding the fairy.

"DON'T TOUCH HER!" Marle screeched.

Crono was so surprised, he jumped a foot in the air and also, set off a bit of his lightening magic. In his hand, the fairy twitched oddly and shook.

"Oh, my God! You...you _killed_ her!" Marle whispered, too stunned to scream.

Lucca ran over. "Oh, no! You must have given her an electric shock..."

Marle's eyes widened. "You _electrocuted _her?! Oh, my God! NAVI!"

Navi suddenly bolted upright in Crono's hand. She blinked a few times, then turned her head and stared at him, like a deer in headlights. Crono smiled uncertainly. He hadn't killed her after all!

Navi wasn't sure what had just happened, but what luck to wake up and have this man holding her! His eyes were an amazing shade of green, his hair unlike anyone else's. (A/N: well, I think that's fair to say that his hair is _different_...^_^) She blushed in complete happiness. He had just saved her life! She was sure of it. And now her dream would come true and they would go to his home and live happily ever after and--

"NAVI!!!!" Marle cried, interrupting her thoughts. "You're ALIVE!"

Navi reluctantly flew off Crono's hand. "What did you expect?" She demanded tartly.

"You were just faking!" Marle said, disgusted.

"I was not!"

"Um...ladies?" Crono called cautiously. "Now that everyone's okay, we should really be heading back..."

"Oh!" Navi giggled and flew into his hair. Oh, it was even better than in her dreams!

Crono froze. He was uncertain as to the proper conduct when one has a fairy in one's hair. "What should I do now?" He mouthed to Lucca.

She shrugged. "Oh, little fairy? What are you doing in Crono's hair?" Lucca asked carefully.

"Get out of there right now!" Marle yelled and began to smack Crono's hair repeatedly.

"AAAH!" Crono cried, trying to duck away from his apparently rabid girlfriend.

"He's saving me again!" Navi yelled happily and hung on, vowing her love forever.

"Crono, how long have you known this fairy?!" Lucca demanded, restraining Marle.

"I just met her. Why?" Crono asked, straightening up.

"I think she just proposed to you," Lucca replied in disbelief. In her arms, the Princess of Guardia began kicking and screaming. "Now really! I know you're not into the whole royalty thing, but is _this_ any way to act?" Lucca cried.

Navi buzzed out of the fire-red hair. "You didn't just meet me," she said, giggling in a flirty way. "I'm 'Tinker-bell'...remember?"

"Tinker-bell! How are you?" Crono asked, suddenly recognizing her. "Look," he went on, "You've got it all wrong. I'm Crono...Tinker-bell loves _Peter Pan._ But I appreciate it all the same. I know I'm hard to resist! After all, I _am_ handsome, dashing and--"

Lucca quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. "And a moron," she finished. God, she couldn't believe Crono sometimes! It was a miracle that he even had a girlfriend, the way he was always throwing around that "I'm available" line and flirting with other princesses.

With her one hand on Crono's mouth, it was easy for Marle to break free. She captured Navi in her hands. "Go away, Crono! _We_ don't want _you_ here!"

"Yes, we do! Yes, we do!" Navi squeaked, but no one was listening.

"Marle, cut the crap. We're heading home now," Lucca said sternly. Honestly, sometimes she just didn't understand her best friends at all. She would be happy to return home to Robo, who didn't have any feelings she hadn't programmed. Well, that wasn't actually true, but machines _were _easier to understand than humans. And if Robo's emotions became too annoying, it was the work of a few minutes to remove his personality drive. Lucca glanced at her friends and had a sudden desire that they were robots and she had a wrench in her hand. Oh, she'd fix them all right! The sound of Marle stamping her foot broke through Lucca's thoughts.

"Then you'll just have to leave without me!" Marle said prissily.

"C'mon Marle! I can't go back without you..." Crono told her.

"Hmph! You men are all just stupid pigs!"

Lucca giggled. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well they are!"

"Whatever. Listen, you can break up with Crono whenever, but you still have to come home with us. You're my best friends. Well, one of them, anyway," Lucca said sincerely.

"What? She can not break up with me whenever!" Crono muttered resentfully.

Marle turned to Lucca, a bit tearfully. "Really?"

"Yeah. So...will you come?"

She sniffed. "Okay."

***   
From the balcony of the Hyrule Palace, Zelda could hear screams. She looked curiously toward the peaceful looking forest. She would have normally asked Link what he thought and if it was worth checking out. But today, Link was stationed outside the door of the guest room. He had already made Zelda fetch him water four times to keep his voice from disappearing. He was, after all, telling a _very_ long story. In a way, Zelda felt awfully sorry for that Lucca girl, who was hearing the highly romanticized life of Link. But she _had_ asked. And, Zelda felt mostly grateful, because now _she_ wouldn't have to hear Link's stories. She couldn't manage to feel sorry about that at all and besides, Lucca had probably fallen asleep hours ago. Thus, Zelda was happy despite the screams that were disturbing the peace of her kingdom. She hummed to herself and returned to her sewing. She was busily making her dream dress: the green one with a lot of lace.

And so, although Zelda couldn't know the whole of it, it was a day of evil catfights and dreams coming true.


	7. Root Cellars, BackStabbing and Endless L...

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Disclaimer: Surprise! I still don't own anything here except the plot line!! YAY! Now go read! QUICKLY!

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A/N: Just a quick little note to say I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I could take this time to now spout endless excuses, but most of them would be made up. So I'll just say, sorry! School's almost over for me and then I'll be able to write more frequently. Thanks for your reviews: they are the sole reason this story continues!! You guys are my heroes! 

A quick thanks to: MissXeli, luccamajere26, lucca_259 (oh, the obnoxious narrator! we need to work on that!!!!! lol), LaurylPixLira (haha, my group-author name--check it out sometime!), Imania (here's more, so that means I won't perish! haha, I survived! YAY!), Rowan Seven and anyone else who read but was too lazy to review. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! Now back to the story!!

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Chapter Seven: Root Cellars, Back-Stabbing and Endless Link Stories

When Glenn awakened he was in a dark, musty room. The room was cold, hard, uneven cement and when he reached an arm out he discovered a small bowl of water had been left in front of him. There was also a pile of scratchy hay. Glenn made a face when he came into contact with it. It was probably dirty and musty and full of fleas. He pushed the offending straw away and tasted the water apprehensively. It tasted clean enough, so he swallowed it quickly in an attempt to wash away his raging headache.

When he stood up cautiously, Glenn was amazed to realize that he wasn't chained up. As far as he could tell, there were no bars, but he _had _to be in a dungeon cell...right? That was where evil villains _always_ locked people up! Glenn took a few more steps and tripped over a stack of glass jars. He grabbed frantically at the air and something wooden tumbled down on top of him. It wasn't a board, but...a rocking chair? No, it couldn't be a chair. No one kept rocking chairs in their dungeons. He threw it off of him and heard something else crash on the other side of the cell. A pile of musty books slid across the floor and knocked into Glenn's feet. Glenn clamored to his feet unsteadily and wandered right into some kind of shelf. He caught the cardboard box that slid off--it was full of light-weight sphere shaped objects. By accident he dropped one and it shattered.

What _was_ this place? Glenn tripped over something and lay sprawled across the cold stone. Letting loose a few loud expletives, he rolled over into the hay and closed his eyes. The hay might have fleas, but it was a hell of a lot safer than the rest of this dungeon.

Above him, Magus and Ganondorf were having a heated conversation. "You put him _where?!"_ Magus demanded.

Ganondorf tapped the wooden planks on the lawn fondly. "Right in here. I already told you that."

"This is ridiculous! You put our hostage--our captive knight--in a _root cellar!! A ROOT CELLAR!!_"

"I don't understand what the problem is," Ganondorf said sulkily. "He can't escape down there."

They paused in time to hear a few more loud crashes and the sound of Glenn cursing furiously.

"As much as I dearly love to hear his screams of pain, it's embarrassing that you've locked our hostage up in--not a dungeon, oh no, that would be too _evil_--but a _root_ cellar! A root cellar for Christ's sake..."

Ganondorf smacked the wooden planks, "KEEP QUIET DOWN THERE!!" Smirking, he turned to Magus, "you were saying...?"

Magus threw his hands up in disgust, "I was _saying:_ can't you even do _one SIMPLE _task _right?!?!" _

"He's locked up, isn't he? What more do you want from me?! You...you're always _picking_ on me! Ever since...since that _dark day_ we met! I just don't know if I can handle this..._relationship_ anymore. It's just too stressful!" Ganondorf pretended to suddenly be very interested in the top of the cellar.

Magus groaned and rolled his eyes. "You've got big tears in your eyes and yet you call yourself _EVIL?!?_"

Ganondorf opened his mouth to speak, made a watery gurgle type noise and then promptly shut it again. Obviously he didn't trust himself to speak.

"Oh, this is pathetic! Listen, why don't you just get back to me once you've gotten _control _of yourself? Oh, help me, Lord of Evil!! Teach this stupid villain to be evil! His inability to perform any truly evil acts is painful! HELP ME!" Magus fell to his knees for a moment.

Ganondorf sniffed loudly and turned to look at him. "I...I didn't know you were r-re-religious," he managed, trying very hard not to cry.

"Oh, I am. I'm a very _pious_ evil mage," Magus explained almost kindly. "Can you just hang on a minute? I want to finish this...er, prayer." He then began to mutter under his breath frantically. Ganondorf nodded understandingly and surreptitiously wiped his eyes. Suddenly, a strong wind began to blow and Magus's hair seemed to stand straight on end.

Petrified with fright, Ganondorf began trembling furiously. He couldn't seem to move his feet to run away. A mass of bruised-looking clouds formed above his head. They then began to spout purplish lightening and Magus yelled the last word of his "prayer". Of course, it wasn't really a prayer at all, but rather, a huge evil spell that lifted Ganondorf into the air, carried him along a ways, slammed him into the castle wall and then dropped him.

Magus smoothed down his hair and stood up. There was a splashing sound as the unconscious Ganondorf tumbled into the moat. "Oh, what a shame," Magus remarked calmly and quickly placed a few spells around the root cellar door to keep Glenn from escaping. "Now to find a proper dungeon," he mused and made his way across the drawbridge, pausing briefly to glance at the rapidly sinking Ganondorf. "Shame this moat doesn't come with alligators. Stupid Ganny--he couldn't do anything right." He sighed. "I almost feel sorry for him...It's terribly tragic that he had to die today. I mean, think about all the times before when he could have died and he didn't! If there's one thing I hate, it's the meaningless resurrection of so-called evil villains." Then, to himself, Magus muttered, "I'm sure he'd thank me if he could." And laughing crazily, he dashed into the castle, his mind already back on finding a dungeon.

***

It was about this same time that Zelda decided to check on Link. He'd been up there since early in the morning and now the sun was beginning to set. She found Link apparently deep in conversation with the thick wooden door.

"--when I rescued her she was eternally grateful and pledged to love me forever, of course. But who wouldn't? I mean, with these good looks, what girl wouldn't swoon to see me climbing up to the tower and saving her life? Ha! Ha! Oh, I am so incredible! Where was I? Oh yes, so she pledged to love me forever and the evil villain was at last defeated. I told her I would have to think about her love proposal, because, you know, there were a lot of other beautiful princesses and they all proposed to me, so why should I vow myself to her on the spur of the moment like that? But I'm taken now, so don't go getting any crazy ideas about throwing yourself at my feet, dear. Ha! Ha! Well, it was then that we started heading back towards the castle. I was leading, of course, when suddenly this gigantic monster popped up in front of us! Not that I was scared, but Zelda screamed loud enough to wake the dead--"

"Ahem!" Zelda cried, loudly clearing her throat. Link blushed, his voice trailing off. "How long have you had that poor girl barricaded in there?"

"Oh...um...well, that is...er...not long, Zelda...dear..."

"I want the truth, Link, _dear._"

"Erm...12 and a half hours. But we're having an absolutely splendid time! Aren't we, Lucca?"

"Lucca? Are you all right in there?" Zelda called, pushing Link aside. "Twelve and a half hours, indeed! Do you need anything? Hello?"

"Oh, the door's locked...she didn't want me coming in before she'd finished spring cleaning."

"Indeed. Well, I am so sorry if my cleaning wasn't sufficient for her! Honestly Link--guests don't normally do spring cleaning in other people's castles!" Zelda said rather icily.

"Oh, but...well..."

"She's probably fallen asleep," Zelda sighed, pounding half-heartedly on the door.

"She's probably paying rapt attention and doesn't appreciate you interrupting the flow of the story! Now I'll never get back on track!"

"Oh, and that _would_ be a shame, now _wouldn't it?!_"

Link kicked nervously at the ground. "Sorry, Zelda. I just...got so excited that someone wanted to hear one of my stories. I mean, of course everyone likes hearing my stories, but, you know...you've already heard them all, and..."

Zelda shook her head, starting to smile now. "Well, I thought I knew them all, but I don't exactly remember this one, although you claim I was there. But if this is the story I'm thinking of, I think it was quite the other way around! I believe you were the one who promised to love _me_ forever. And weren't _you_ the one who screamed?" She laughed and started walking away.

Link turned rather embarrassedly back towards the door. "Great lady, Zelda is. You can see how we tease each other." He lowered his voice, confidentially, "she likes to feel sometimes like _I_ was the scared one. Boosts her self-esteem, you know. Now then, where was I...?"

Walking downstairs, Zelda couldn't stop laughing. She had a feeling Lucca was either asleep or had escaped, but at least Link was happy. Also, she couldn't stop imagining herself going down on bended knee before Link or screaming so loudly. But the memory of him doing both this things was quite clear in her mind. She went into the kitchen for a quiet drink--although she did love Link, it was a welcome relief to not have to worry about him for just one day.

***

The sun set, shining its brilliant golden rays in through the stained glass windows of the Hyrule palace. The light poured into all the windows of Ganondorf's castle, filling all the normally dim rooms with a clean brightness. Well, all except one room and with this, Magus was quite pleased. The dungeon was suitably dank, dark and well, evil. It was also still dark in the root cellar, but Glenn had finally fell into a fitful slumber. 

Meanwhile, the rays touched all the way into the back of a cave deep in the forest. Marle's hair turned a bright shade of newly spun gold, while Crono's took on the appearance of fire. Despite the beauty, the three friends were deeply troubled. While they had been finally reunited with Marle, now Glenn was missing. Navi was untroubled by this as long as she was allowed to rest in Crono's hair. Marle had given up sulking about this and was worried as the others. They moved through the woods, their cries echoing around them in the fading light. But Glenn did not appear.

"Maybe he went back to the castle," Lucca suggested, when she paused to catch her breath.

"But...that's where Peter Pan is!" Crono cried, looking almost frightened. "Lucca just narrowly escaped from his clutches--Glenn wouldn't go back there!"

"Oh, shut up about Peter Pan already," Marle snapped. "He's _not_ real!"

"I saw him! Lucca and I did, didn't we?"

"Oh, Crono," Lucca sighed heavily. "His name is Link."

"You believed his lies?! Link! Yeah right!"

"Well, since Link captured Lucca, maybe he captured Glenn, too," Marle suggested, ignoring Crono's remarks.

While Crono nodded excitedly, Lucca shook her head dismissively. "He _didn't_ capture me. That was all Crono's idea. He invited me in. I went willingly. Jeez! But _someone_ else might've captured Glenn..."

"Who? Who else is there around here?" Marle asked, looking hard at Crono.

Crono shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, but Marle cut him off. "No, not you, stupid. I'm talking to Navi," she said snobbishly. Crono shrugged again; he was hating this new ex-girlfriend/boyfriend thing more all the time. Just because she had broken up with him didn't mean Marle could act like such a b--

"Well, there's this evil villain type around here. His name is Ganondorf," Navi said, interrupting Crono's thoughts just in time to keep this story PG.

"Ganondorf," Lucca echoed, walking again. "Let's go, guys. Navi--come out of Crono's hair. You have to lead us to him!"

Grumbling, Navi did as she was told and the group took off sprinting through the darkening forest, following the little yellow light that flew ahead of them, taking sharp turns and complaining the whole way. Crono was strongly tempted to sing that song about following the second star to the right just from the sight, but he restrained himself since otherwise Marle would probably never speak to him again.

***

And so it was that another day in Hyrule had come to pass. In the upstairs tower of the castle, Link sat with his back to the door, his voice still droning on, while Zelda finished her drink and went to bed. In the forest, Navi led the three heroes towards Ganondorf's castle, where Glenn slept on in the root cellar and Magus feasted on a thoroughly evil meal as he planned his next move. Things were finally going his way...or so he thought. Beneath the dark waters of the moat, something moved.

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A/N: Thanks again guys. Don't forget to leave a review! If you have any questions or suggestions, you can put them in them in a review or drop me a line at CronoCat04@yahoo.com I love to get mail!! heehee, thankx guys, until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	8. In Which Our Heroes Meet Captain Hook an...

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Disclaimer: Crono Trigger and Zelda = NOT MINE. All plot ideas = DEFINITELY MINE!! Stealing them = very, very bad. I'll have to hurt you, so please, no stealing!

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A/N: Now that we've had that little lesson, I'll just say, this chapter = looooong. So get reading! Thanks--as always--to all my reviewers. What would I do without you guys? Please keep reading! We're almost to the end here... ~CronoCat =^_^=

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Chapter Eight: In Which Our Heroes Meet Captain Hook and Discover How Hyrule REALLY Makes Its Money

The moon had risen by the time our heroes had reached Ganondorf's castle.

"Right here. But our castle is _so_ much nicer! I don't know why you ever wanted to come here in the first place!" Navi announced sullenly.

Lucca groaned. "You're a lot like Link, you know? Just save me the whole 'Grand Tour' crap. I can't take any more of that!"

Crono patted her reassuringly on the shoulder. "There, there, Lucca. I'm sorry you ever had to suffer Peter Pan's torments. Glenn and I rescued you as soon as we could."

"I'm eternally grateful, I'm sure..." Lucca muttered sarcastically, her attention focused on the dark castle ahead of her.

"Oh, no need to thank me!" Crono went on cheerfully.

"Then I won't bother," Lucca said decidedly and took a step forward. "All right, let's find a way in! Everyone be careful--I don't know what we'll find! Ready? Good. Follow me, then."

"I don't think we should--" Navi began hesitantly.

"Oh, hush. I don't think you understand. We're trying to rescue our _friend_," Marle said, still rather upset that Navi had deserted her in favor of Crono's hair.

"No, I didn't mean that--" Navi began again.

"Shh!" Lucca scolded, walking towards the castle quickly. Navi opened her mouth again, but Crono quickly clamped both hands around her.

"Bad Tinker-Bell. Didn't you hear? Lucca said no talkies!" He whispered into his fist. Navi sighed and gave up.

Ahead of Crono, Lucca suddenly slipped, let forth and muffled scream and toppled into the moat.

"_Lucca!_" Marle called in an agonized whisper.

Navi escaped from Crono's hands, taunting them. "I tried to warn you. It's your own fault for not listening!"

Marle took a swat at her, but Navi flew easily out of reach, sticking her tongue out. But Marle had more important things to worry about, like her drowning friend.

Crono threw down his sword. "I'm going in!" He announced, striking a heroic pose.

"Stop it! You always have to save her! And quit making those stupid poses! You just look dumb! And you're wasting time!" Marle said angrily, not taking her eyes from the moat.

"Watch my sword, Marle. I'm coming, Lucca!" Crono yelled, ignoring Marle. He dove headfirst into the moat, causing Navi to scream.

"Oh! He'll be killed! Someone save him!"

"Shut up, Navi. What do you care?!" Marle demanded, kneeling on the grass and reaching one hand into the water to see if she could help pull Lucca up.

Navi sighed dreamily. "His hair is so gorgeous. He's just so handsome and brave and--!!"

"And a moron!" Marle finished.

"You're just jealous that he likes me better now," Navi announced.

"WHAT?!" Marle screeched, splashing handfuls of water in the general direction of Navi's voice. A high-pitched coughing and spluttering sound told Marle she'd hit her small target.

"If I were bigger, I swear I'd kill you!" Navi coughed shrilly.

"Oh, stuff it," Marle said curtly, proceeding to ignore the rest of Navi's ranting. As the minutes ticked by, Marle had to fight back the strong urge to panic. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was wrong here. After all, Lucca lived by the water! She _knew _how to swim! So why wasn't she reappearing from the dark, muddy water?

At that moment, Crono resurfaced, dragging a waterlogged Lucca with him. He pulled her along and flung her up onto the bank. Marle let out a sigh of relief. Of course Lucca wouldn't drown! Marle couldn't believe she had actually doubted her intelligent friend for a moment there. Yet something still seemed wrong about the whole situation...Lucca lay as still as the dead. Marle screamed in panic.

Crono jumped up beside his best friend and coughed heavily. "Lucca? Lucca...?" He asked, cautiously.

Lucca didn't move, but Marle did. She sprang up from the grass and leapt at Crono, knocking him aside. "LUCCA!!!"

Crono rolled a ways, then crawled back towards Lucca and pushed Marle. Without stopping to pause, he leaned over and began to give Lucca CPR. Marle watched in shock. She certainly hadn't excepted Crono to be able to deal with the whole situation. Maybe he wasn't so worthless after all...She shook the thought from her head as Lucca blinked a few times, coughed deeply, spluttered and then screamed.

"CRONO!! You can _stop_ giving me CPR now! I'M FINE!" With that said, she hastily removed Crono's hands from her chest and his mouth from hers.

"_Lucca!!!!"_ Marle cried, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I thought we lost you!" She flung her arms around Lucca, nearly strangling her.

Blushing, Crono sat back on his heels and self-consciously pushed his wet spikes from his face. He always messed things up. Marle watched him, a look on her face he couldn't begin to decipher. Realizing Lucca wasn't going to die, she came over to Crono.

"Are you okay? You're shaking..." She said cautiously.

To his surprise, Crono realized he _was_ shaking. He shrugged, "It's nothing. Just the fact that the water in this moat is freezing and I've probably gotten hypothermia."

"Don't be cynical," Marle scolded. She cocked her head to the side, thinking. "Maybe...you were scared."

"What? Don't be ridiculous," Crono said airily. "I wasn't scared. I knew Lucca would be all right."

"Cocky boy," Lucca teased, getting slowly to her feet. She paused and held out a hand to Crono. He stared at her without moving. The smile faded from her face. "I owe you one," she said softly. "Thanks for saving my life, Crono."

He smiled slowly and took her hand. "You're welcome."

"Now don't go getting cocky again," Lucca warned. "I fully intend to pay off my debts by saving your butt multiple times within the next few chapters. Just so you know."

"I'd prefer a sundae."

"Tough luck. Let's get going. We have to defeat the evil villain if we want to save Glenn."

Marle remained kneeling where Crono had been sitting. Finally she spoke up. "Lucca...I _know _you can swim! You practically taught me how one summer. So...why did Crono have to rescue you?"

Crono jumped in with an explanation. "I think she was tangled with some seaweed at the bottom, because it was really hard to pull her up to the surface. I had to kick Lucca's leg free of something."

"I don't think that was seaweed, Crono," Lucca said slowly.

"What was it?" Marle questioned.

"I think the real question is..._who_."

In the faint lighting, Lucca could see the horrified look on Marle's face and the very confused look on Crono's. But before she had time to say anything else, a loud, gasping noise came from behind them. There was someone floundering in the center of the moat. Crono ran to the middle of the wooden bridge and dove off.

Soon the three heroes and Navi were crowded around someone on the middle of the bridge. He was kind of short, fat and green. It wasn't long before Navi recognized him.

"That's _Ganondorf-_the evil villain we've been looking for!!"She squealed, in disbelief.

"What was he doing in the moat?" Marle asked.

"I doubt he was bathing," Lucca said sarcastically.

Crono hadn't been listening to their conversation. He was hunched over the still form, although his friends had recoiled when they realized that this was Ganondorf. "Guys! I know who this is!"

"Duh. We all do," Marle said.

"No, no! It's-there's no mistaking him-this is _Captain Hook!_" Crono cried.

Everyone stared at Crono in disbelief, but he remained oblivious and jumped up, peering into the quiet water. Without warning, he turned and flung his arms in front of Marle and Lucca, as if to shield them from something. Whatever it was, they couldn't see it.

"Nobody move!" Crono yelled. "Stay calm! We have to figure out a way to leave with the alligator seeing us!"

Marle shrieked in terror. "ALLIGATOR?!?!?"

Lucca however, kept her head. "Crono, _what_ alligator? There's no alligator, okay?"

"The alligator who swallowed that clock. He's Captain Hook's nemesis, well, him and Peter Pan..."

Realizing the alligator business was just move of Crono's Peter Pan nonsense, Marle pushed his arm away. "Shut up, Crono! Geez...you just about gave me a heart attack!"

From the air, Navi confirmed that there was, in fact, no alligator present.

Lucca sighed, "Crono...what the _hell_ have you been _smoking?!_"

"He probably inhaled too many fumes from the grass when he was braiding that rope," Navi suggested. Everyone looked at her. Navi buzzed around their head and went on, "well, didn't you know? That grass is like, a huge cash crop here. We trade it with other cities all over the world map. It's pretty heady stuff and it only grows around the Hyrule Palace. Well, really only the moat. Honestly, I don't know _what_ Zelda puts in that water, but there must be something, otherwise we wouldn't have that crazy grass."

"I would say that explains a lot, but Crono's _always_ like this..." Marle said slowly.

"I'm just going to ignore all of that, because it's completely besides the point right now," Lucca announced, shaking her head in disbelief. "But I have to say first that I can't believe Zelda is growing pot outside the castle!"

"They're not _pots_. It's a type of _grass_," Navi corrected.

"Never mind. Just forget it," Lucca said quickly. She pulled Crono away from the moat, where he was still scanning for alligators with clocks. 

They were now faced with the dilemma of what to do with the unconscious Ganondorf. If he had been awake, they could have demanded to know where Glenn was, but they couldn't seem to wake him up. So it was decided that Crono would go first, pushing Ganondorf ahead of him. This way any remaining lackeys in the castle would realize their leader had fallen and hopefully surrender immediately. Crono and Ganondorf would enter the castle first, followed closely by Lucca, because she could probably quickly determine which way the dungeons were. Marle would bring up the rear with her crossbow and Navi would fly along with her or possibly scout ahead.

The two friends started walking towards the castle again, this time using the bridge to get there instead of the moat and carting Ganondorf. Marle and Navi lagged behind slightly.

"Any other surprises we should know about?" Marle asked rather coldly.

"I've never been inside," Navi said snobbishly. "Our castle is _much_ better."

"Probably. We're not going in to look at this Ganondorf's interior decorating, you know."

Navi sighed, "No, I suppose not. Friends?"

"You're only saying that because Crono left you for Lucca."

"...maybe. Friends anyways?"

"Sure. Why not? Should we shake on it?" Marle joked.

"Enough taunts about my size. You don't hear me making comments about how gigantic you are!"

"Hey! That makes it sound like I'm fat!"

"Good thing it's dark out," Navi muttered. She was spared from certain death by Marle thanks to Lucca and Crono turning around to hush the two. Navi sped to Crono's hair for safety and Marle notched an arrow to her crossbow harder than really was necessary. After that, it was quiet going and very uneventful. Too uneventful. Everyone began to feel slightly uneasy, although most of Crono's uneasiness still came from thoughts of the non-existent alligator.

They had made it to what appeared to be the dining hall before Ganondorf stirred. Crono and Lucca hoisted him up onto a bench so they could catch their breath. Marle stood over him, the arrow tip resting against his throat. Ganondorf coughed once and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a crossbow and beyond that, a blonde girl with fierce blue eyes. She looked ready to kill him. He quickly decided the best course of action was to lie still and try to look harmless.

"Where is he? What have you done with Glenn?!" A purple-haired girl with glasses demanded. She searched in her pockets and pulled out a hammer. "Don't make me use this!" She cried, brandishing it wildly.

Ganondorf cried out, "I don't know where he is! He's locked up somewhere! Please don't hurt me!"

"We won't have to if you'll just answer a simple question," Marle said sweetly. She lowered her face until it was inches from him. "WHERE IS GLENN?!?!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

Crono stood off the side, ready to fight if he was needed. Lucca suddenly put down the hammer.

"There's something strange going on here," she said slowly.

"What do you mean?" Crono asked curiously.

Lucca scratched her head. "I don't know why, but I've got the strangest feeling I've forgotten something...something very important..."

Crono nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I hate that feeling. I get it when I go out and forget to feed my cat." He blinked twice. "Crap!! I forget to feed Kitty!"

"No, no...It's something much more important than that," Lucca said dismissively. "Gah! This is _so_ incredibly frustrating! What did I forget?!"

"Could it be you forgot to turn off your teleporter?" Suggested a calm voice from across the room.

Crono, Marle and Lucca turned to see..."MAGUS?!"

Lucca began to curse loudly as he smirked openly at them, from a where he was standing atop a small table. His cape was blowing majestically and he was holding his trademark scythe. 

"Um...how is your cape doing that?" Marle asked finally.

"What? Oh, uh, dramatic effect," Magus said. He turned and roared over his shoulder, "you can stop now!"

Four small cronies scurried out from behind him where they had been "huffing and puffing" at the cape with all their might.

"Ah, yes. You've taken much, much longer than I expected. I suppose I gave you too much credit. Shame, really. Ah well. I suppose you're looking for Glenn? Good luck! You'll _never find him!! _BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Magus laughed and jumped down from the table. He caught sight of Ganondorf. "Oh, Ganondorf...I see you've recovered yet again. Most unfortunate, but I shouldn't really be surprised. I see who's joining the heroes now. Oh yes, we shall see who is _really_ the evil one here!"

Ganondorf let out a weak moan and Magus laughed some more.

"I give you two minutes to get out of my sight. If you do not leave the castle, I will come and hunt you down!" Magus shouted as he turned and kicked the cronies away. With that, he went out another door and disappeared into the gray gloom.

There was a moment of silence as the heroes collected their thoughts. Finally Lucca spoke. "He's playing hide-and-seek with us," she spat.

Crono's eyes lit up. "Oh! I love this game!"

"No, not like this you don't," Lucca announced. She grabbed Crono's sleeve and pulled Marle away from Ganondorf, "c'mon. We don't want to be here when he gets back. Let's start looking! Navi, you follow him and try to keep Magus busy!"

"Why me?" Navi whined.

"You're small so he can't catch you. Plus, you can't help fight," Lucca explained and Navi fluttered away complaining. "Also, you're the most annoying," she added once Navi was out of earshot.

"Crono-get that loser back on his feet. He'll take us to the dungeons and will make a handy shield," Lucca went on. "Marle, keep that crossbow ready. Now let's move!"

Quickly everyone got ready. Lucca stayed a step behind Ganondorf, holding her hammer at ready. Crono walked alongside her, his sword drawn and behind them, Marle jogged along, keeping an eye out for danger.

And so the rescue mission began. The final challenge was underway. The only thing they had to do now was find Glenn and somehow manage to avoid Magus at the same time. It was going to be a long night.


	9. In Which We Explore the Dark and Scary D...

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A/N: Wow--chapter NINE!!! Never thought I'd get this far. Thanks so much to everyone who has been helping me along! We're coming up to the end here (I keep saying that and then coming up with new ideas for the plot -_-') But SOON the Dark and Scary plan will be revealed! So I know you all have the 5th Harry Potter to read, so I'd like to thank everyone in advance for reading this next chapter here AND reviewing! Love you guys! This chapter was meant to be a lot shorter than it ended up, but oh well. ENJOY!!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Crono Trigger, Zelda or Peter Pan. The ideas you see here are mine, mine, mine! hehe, except I do own a *BIG* thank you to Mo-Mo Chan for all her help with the Dark and Scary plan. Also, when I had Lucca ask Crono what he was smoking, she jokingly said it was the grass. THANK YOU MO!!! ^_^ Oh, and one more thing: To Sabriel, thank you. Your review suggested I could have someone fall into the moat. This idea spurred an entire scene! Thanx so much! (Sorry that I forgot to thank you two last chapter...I really do appreciate your input!)

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And a quick thanks to everyone! 

Mo-Mo (thanks for all the help!), **Sabriel** (let me know when you get your story off the ground!), **Imania** (death by tom-toms? Luckily, I'm spared. Here's the next chapter for ya!), **Shiro Amayagi **(I'm not getting predictable, am I? ^_^'), **Zaber the Pheonix **(glad you're enjoying my fic! despite my strangeness...hehe), **Dr. Lauryl **(hope you're enjoying your vacation, girl! love ya!), **Starlight-x1 **(thanks SO much for reviewing!!) and **Luna** (Oh yes. Link and Zelda will be reappearing soon...)

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Chapter Nine: In Which We Explore the Dark and Scary Dungeons and Lucca Explains the Stereotypical Ending of Evil

It didn't take long before they had finally reached the dark and scary dungeons. It was completely pitch black and they could hear an eerie dripping noise.

Marle clutched on to Lucca's arm. "It's so dark!" She muttered, shivering a little. "This place is like a cave...So dark and...and..."

"And scary?" Crono suggested dryly.

Lucca tried to shake her overly emotional friend from her arm. "I'm going numb! Let go!"

"Oops! Sorry..." Marle giggled shrilly.

Crono winced. Luckily it was too dark for Marle to see him at all. "Glenn?" He finally called out softly.

"Glenn??" Lucca stage-whispered. They stood still a moment, straining into the darkness and jumping at the least little sounds. A couple times Crono whispered that he'd heard someone, but every time it was only his echo.

"I heard it again," he insisted.

"Shut up, Crono..." Lucca muttered. "Glenn? Are you down here?"

"Guess we're gonna have to go cell-to-cell and check. He could be sleeping or something," Crono said after a while.

Marle reached out in the darkness and touched the grimy, slimy metal bars of one of the cells. She shuddered and then realized that she was going to have to stumble around in this gross place looking for Glenn. "**GLEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!**"She screamed at the top of her lungs. "COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!"

Lucca groaned and put her hands over her ears. "What do you say we split up? Now that you've _conveniently _informed Magus of our whereabouts..._and_ made me deaf!"

"Oh, come on...He _had_ to know that we were headed this way," Marle muttered sullenly. "GLENN!!" She shouted again.

"Definitely let's split up."

In the silence that followed, Crono heard an ominous clicking noise.

"Oh! Did you guys hear that?! What was it?" Crono cried.

"Don't be such a baby, Crono. It's only my gun," Lucca told him.

"Oh. Only your gun..."

"What's this _gum_ you speak of?" Ganondorf said groggily.

"Hey-he's awake again!" Marle squealed.

"Good. They don't know what guns are around here. Very good...Ganondorf, where's Glenn?" Lucca said.

"What's this _Glenn_ of which you speak?" Ganondorf asked stupidly.

"Good. They don't know about _anything_ around here," Crono said sarcastically.

"No matter!" Lucca went on cheerfully. "We'll just lock him up in one of these cells...we don't need him anymore anyway." In front of her, Ganondorf sniffed tragically.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Um..." Lucca paused. "Well, yes, actually."

"I have feelings too, you know!" He sobbed. "Every time someone tries to get rid of me, I end up _dead_! I ask you: now is that really necessary?!"

"You've died before? Me too!" Crono chirped. "Well, it sure is a small world after all!"

"Well, whoop-dee-do," Marle said. "I've died before too...it's not _that_ uncommon, you know."

"Yeah, Marle...why don't you join the party?" Crono asked eagerly. "Oh, but...Lucca hasn't died before...I feel bad excluding you, Lucca, really I do."

Lucca held her gun to her head and made a face. Then she remembered they couldn't see her. "That could be arranged, Crono. But why don't I just leave you all to your party? We're running out of time and _I_ intend to get Glenn back!"

"Oh, right...sorry. I'll help too." Crono said. Together, the three of them stumbled to the nearest cell and threw Ganondorf in.

"Take the key and lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up! Take the key and lock him upgh..." Crono sang cheerily, until Marle finally swung out in the dark and managed to slap her hand over his mouth.

"Must you, Crono?" Lucca said, exasperated.

"Vel, Ah jut can't elp ot--Ah'm a gute sangar..."

"What? Oh, never mind. I don't really want to know..." Lucca sighed. 

With a little help from Crono's lightening magic, they welded the door shut and Ganondorf was successfully locked up. Then, they carefully made their way up and down past the cells, trying their best to check every one. Lucca had separated from the group slightly and as they turned back, she found she could keep walking. Soon she ran into something.

"Ouch! Oh, man..." Rubbing her head, Lucca realized that the walls were cement and this was most definitely some kind of wooden plank. She ran her hands across the surface and found a door knob. There was also some kind of little lettered sign at the top. "This is ridiculous," she muttered, attempting to trace the lettering with her fingers and then decipher it from there.

"Lucca? Where'd you go?" Marle called.

"There's some kind of door back here and it's got a sign on it, but I can't read it in the dark...ah, damn it! We're never going to find Glenn at this rate!"

"Well, do you not have your magic anymore?" Marle asked. "I mean, honestly...for someone so intelligent, I would've thought you would've remembered that you _do_ have fire magic by now."

"...Oh, yeah..." Lucca said. "Ok, now I feel..."

"Dumb?" Crono suggested.

"No, more than that," Lucca said.

"Oh, you mean more like Crono," Marle said snidely.

"Yeah! That describes it exactly!" Lucca replied as Crono sulked in the corner. She made a small flame appear in her hand and held it up to the door. The sign read: HENCHMEN ONLY! DO NOT ENTER!

"Well, that was easy!" Lucca chuckled. "I'll bet there's some clues in here..."

"Wait!" Marle said. "If we all go in there, it could just be one little room and Magus could trap us!"

"I hadn't thought of that..." Lucca admitted. "Marle, how about you go back to that banquet hall we were in earlier and go through the door Magus left through? See if you can find him and keep an eye on him. Get Navi to report back to me if it gets out of control."

"Sure thing. Good luck! See you later!" Marle called and headed quickly back up the stairs. She was all too happy to get out of the dark and scary dungeons.

"What about me?" Crono asked.

"You can go back to that main room too. Look for other doors. Try to find Glenn and keep an eye out for Magus, okay?"

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine! I've got my gun, remember?" Lucca held it up to show him.

Crono hesitated. "I just don't feel good about this..."

"Stop being such a baby, Crono! Everything's going to be just fine. All you have to do is find Glenn...it's like a game, see? Whoever can find him first, wins!"

"I suppose almost getting killed by Magus is also part of the fun?"

"Well...yeah. It's all part of the thrill. The rush. The ride, if you will. Go with me on this one, Crono. It'll be okay."

Crono laughed happily. "I do so love games! I'm going to win! Just watch."

"I don't think so, old pal. You might be strong, but I've got enough intelligence for both of us!"

Crono just laughed at her as he scampered off cheerfully. Lucca heard him laughing and humming and then a loud smack. She winced--Crono had run into one of the walls. He laughed insanely, hummed some more and kept going.

"Strange boy. Hope he'll be okay," Lucca muttered once she had heard Crono's footsteps retreat up the steps. It was very quiet now and dark again. The dripping noise seemed louder now and oppressive. In spite of her brave face, Lucca almost wished Crono were still her with her. She'd probably feel better if there was a little light.

With that thought, Lucca made another small flame appear and balanced it in her right hand. In her left, she held her gun at ready. With her shoulder, Lucca shoved the door open and peered cautiously inside.

***

About this time, Navi had finally located Magus in one of the upper towers. He was standing with his back to the door, bent over something. When she flew nearer, Navi could see the something was wrapped in a deep, blue cloth, one silvery pointy end sticking out.

"Oooh...shiny!" Navi squealed, flying in closer.

Magus whirled around. "Who's there?!" He demanded. Suddenly, he saw Navi, or rather, saw her simply as a tiny light. "Ooooh, it _is_ shiny!" He reached out his hands. "Come here, little light...come back here!" He chucked childishly and began chasing Navi around the room.

"Over here! Up here!" Navi called in-between giggles. This Magus guy wasn't so dark and scary after all, she thought. And then suddenly, there was a loud *whump!* noise and Navi was spiraling towards the ground.

Magus laughed. "Gotcha," he said, bringing his scythe down the rest of the way with a solid thud. Navi managed to roll out of the way just in time. Magus knelt down and scooped Navi up in his cape. "And just what are _you_ doing here?"

"Ahhh!! Magus _got _me!" Navi screeched dramatically.

"Yes, I know that. Now then...what are you doing here?!"

"He's picking me up and I can't escape!" Navi went on.

Magus ran around. "I need a jar...a jar...damn! Of all days _not_ to have a jar just lying around."

"I don't see any jars," Navi commented from where she was caught in his cloak.

"No, really?" Magus asked, reaching for his scythe again. "I'll ask you once more: what are you doing here?"

"You kidnapped my friends' friend!" Navi piped up indignantly.

"Oh...you were with those stupid children who think they're heroes. I remember now."

"They aren't happy that you stole him!"

"They aren't? How surprising," Magus commented dryly as he gently balled up the part of the cloak that she was in and put it down on the floor, pinning one corner so she couldn't escape.

"No, they aren't! They're here to get him back! Where is he?" Navi demanded, her small voice sounding muffled.

"What was that? Speak up!" Magus ordered seconds before he brought the flat side of his scythe down on the lump in his cloak. Then he laughed for a long time. "That should take of that," he announced to the empty room, dusting his hands.

The lump moved and an enraged fairy came rushing out. Magus felt something grab his nose. "That hurt, you big bully! I'm going to kill you!" Navi screamed. "WHERE'S GLENN?!?"

"Ha!" Magus yelled, throwing her at the ground again. "Little ones shouldn't take on people more than one hundred times their size."

"Take that! And that!" Navi called back, punching his feet.

"Take what? I don't feel anything."

"Gah! I'll kill you if you don't tell me where Glenn is!"

"Oh, no. I'm terrified," Magus said sarcastically. "I'd better show you then. Come along." He grabbed her out of the air, tightened his fist and began walking. He went down the stairs and back through the banquet hall, moments before Marle would arrive there. He went across the moat and to the root cellar, with Navi in his hand screaming the whole way.

"Here we are!" Magus said cheerfully. "Go annoy your stupid friend. I've already gotten all that I need from _him_ anyway." And with that, he opened the door and flung Navi inside. "Got a present for you! Enjoy!"

Navi fell to the ground. It was pitch black here. "STUPID MAGUS! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!! I'LL GET LINK TO KILL YOU!" She screamed at the top of lungs, but Magus had already left and slammed the cellar door.

Suddenly, a hand reached out the darkness and grabbed Navi.

***

Meanwhile, Lucca had made it into the "henchmen only" room. Here it was also dark, but in the spluttering light of her fire magic, she saw a torch hanging on the wall. She lit it carefully and looked around. The room was sparsely furnished, with only a roughly hewn wooden desk, a small refrigerator and two plastic plants on either side of the desk. There were two chairs and on the wall hung several torches and a rack with a random assortment of weapons. Lucca quickly noted that most of them were falling apart or were in actuality big sticks. She decided to stick with her gun and walked over to the desk.

"Let's see if there's anything in here that might help," she muttered, sticking the torch in a holder on the desk and trying to open one of the drawers. It was locked shut, but it didn't take long to shoot the lock open with her gun. Lucca grinned happily as it fell open.

"What's this?" She wondered, pulling out a stack of papers. "Oh my..." Lucca said in amazement, leafing through them. "I know this is probably normal to some extent, but it's freaking me out to find dirty magazines in Ganondorf's desk..." She shuddered.

"'What Gets Your Freak On?' 'Advice: What To Do If Your Significant Other is One of the Undead' 'Forbidden Henchmen Loves' 'Tips: How To Kidnap A Princess'" Lucca read aloud in disbelief. "What _is_ this stuff?!" she cried, quickly dropping the magazines.

"Ooookay. A little freaked out..." she muttered, hesitating. "Oh what the hell. It can't be much worse, right?" And with that, she reached down, discovered the second drawer was unlocked and pulled it open. This one was full of what appeared to be harmless files.

She read off the titles: "Dentist and Health Care Records, Car Insurance, The Idiot's Guide to Becoming A Successful Evil Villain, Taxes, The Dark and Scary Plan, Stocks, Various Evil Schemes, Castle Blueprints, Moat Construction Records, and Pension Plans."

"Hmm...very organized guy. Well, that looks all right...wait...The Dark and Scary Plan File?" Lucca mused. She pulled out the thick file and laid it on the desk in front of her. Excited, Lucca opened it and sat down on the chair behind the desk.

"'The Dark and Scary Plan: Phase One,'" she read. "'Operation: Frogg...' What's this all about?" Lucca wondered. So Magus must have known that they were all here in Hyrule, then he had used the teleporter to follow them, but..."Why?"

She turned the page to see a blueprint of the inside of the Hyrule castle. Someone had thoughtfully marked arrows to show the way they would invade the palace. It was clear to Lucca that this was a stealth mission, in search of someone or something. The next page was an extensive map of the forest, woods and surrounding area, including Ganondorf's castle drawn up in the right-hand corner. Quickly, Lucca flipped the page. She might not have much time. She needed to discover where Glenn was!

"'Capture Frogg and bring him back to the castle. Use him to lure the others,'" Lucca read quietly. This note had been scribbled on the back of the map. The next page looked like the drawing a football coach would show his players before a big game: it was covered with little circles and squares, then arrows depicting which way they would go. Lucca could make no sense of it so she quickly moved on.

She flipped through the pages. Reading all this isn't important, she reminded herself. Finding Glenn _is._

She was getting frustrated. The pages were bound together in a notebook, so they should all be there, yet key pages seemed to be missing. She kept imagining she heard footsteps outside the door. Once again, she almost wished Crono were here to sing some stupid song and keep her from being afraid. Then again, Crono's singing gave her a headache and he would doubtless get them into more trouble if he were here.

Her musings were cut short by the sight of the jagged edge where one page had obviously been torn out. "Damn, damn, damn!" Lucca cursed, slamming her hand down on the file. "Man, I _knew _it! Shit...if only I had it, I'm sure it contains the information about where Glenn is!"

"Missing something?" Asked a sing-song voice in Lucca's ear. She gasped and caught a glimpse of a pale hand resting on her shoulder. Screaming, Lucca jumped up so fast she knocked the chair over. She backed away until she was scrunched up against the desk.

Magus leaned forward until his face was a mere inch from hers. "...Boo."

Lucca couldn't seem to stop herself: she shrieked in terror.

Magus laughed and moved back a little. "Such a baby. I'll be you wet yourself."

Regaining some of her composure, Lucca said, "No, but I'll bet _most_ people do when they see your face!"

Of course it is hard to fling such insults when one is crouched in the fetal position, halfway under a desk. Magus simply shook his head and laughed some more.

"So original..." He said calmly. "Tsk, tsk! Such a temper, Lucca."

Lucca glared at him. "Where's Glenn?!"

"Who? Oh, you mean Frogg."

Lucca's eyes widened. "You didn't!"

"Didn't what?" Magus asked innocently.

"Turn him into a frog again," Lucca responded, still in shock.

"Perhaps."

"Where is my friend, you twisted sicko?!"

"Have I ever mentioned there's an excellent recipe for frog's legs in my family? The secret is to cook them very slowly, so the frog screams," Magus said with a huge grin.

About this time, Lucca remembered she had a gun. She reached for it and thought, _well, past tense: I _had_ a gun anyway_. Magus just smiled wider. 

"Missing something else?" He asked, her gun just barely out of reach, dangling from Magus's hands.

"Give me my gun!" Lucca cried, lunging forward.

"Ah, ah!" Magus scolded, backing away. "Do that again and you'll _never_ find your friend!"

Lucca glared at him. "How did you manage to steal my gun?" She demanded.

"It was easy. You were too busy screaming to notice, I suppose."

"Give it back right now!" She said angrily.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that. We can't have any killing just yet. That would spoil the fun."

"Give it up, Magus. You're going to die sooner or later. Why not just let me put you out of your misery right now?"

"I'm not ready to die yet. I still have to complete the final steps of my dark and scary plan. Can't let you ruin it, see?"

Lucca thought for a moment. "Magus," she said rather gently, "you're the evil villain. Hasn't it occurred to you that you've made all these plans for no reason?"

"What do you mean?"

Lucca sighed. "Evil never wins. Watch any show, read any book and you'll see. Good always comes out on top in the end. Why don't you just give up now and save yourself the disgrace?"

Magus blinked. "Never!" He cried. "You're just trying to trick me! I'm _going_ to win!"

"Well, heroes can't die! My gun is of no use to you! Evil villains can always be spotted by their terrible aim."

"Except when they manage to kill off one of the beloved main characters, which heightens the audience's fear that perhaps evil will triumph."

Lucca paled. "Crap. I forgot about that..."

"Ha! Why don't you have a seat, then?"

"You may kill me, but you'll never win! Think of how embarrassing it will be that you couldn't beat us! Just let me save you the disgrace!"

"You can't kill me yet," Magus insisted, pushing Lucca down into the chair.

Lucca pouted for a moment, her brain working fast to come up with some way of escape. "Could I at least mortally wound you?"

"NO!"

Lucca cursed. Things were going downhill fast. Magus pulled up a chair beside her and held up the missing pages from the file. She lunged at him again, knocking his scythe away. Magus held the pages up higher, but she grabbed for the gun. Then, she stood back and pointed it directly at him.

"Say goodbye, Magus!" Lucca cried and fired all the rounds. Finally, the gun fell from her hands, empty. Lucca sighed. "I'm sorry, Magus...But I can't let you complete your plan."

Then, she looked down cautiously at him. She hated the sight of blood, but to her surprise, there wasn't any. Magus was smiling peacefully. She felt sorry for him. Suddenly, Magus sat back up, laughing. Lucca fell backwards into her chair.

"I...I missed! Every shot missed! How is this possible?!"

"Allow me to let you in on a little secret, Lucca. There is one main reason why you won't be able to kill me right now: I haven't told you the plan yet."

Lucca gasped and then began cursing. "Damn it! How could I have forgotten the most important step?!"

"That's right," Magus purred. "The villain must always tell someone the evil plan."

"He or she tells it to someone they're about to kill," Lucca whispered.

Magus nodded. "Let's begin shall we?"

~~~

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A/N: Mwhahahahahaha! Cliffhanger, cliffhanger! I've been wondering--the same as you guys, probably--since Chapter Three what exactly the Dark and Scary Plan was. That's why I never revealed it earlier. But now I've got it all figured out. So stay tuned!! hehe. Oh yeah. I put this a/n down here, because I thought some people might be wondering what Crono said back in the beginning there. He said: "Well, I just can't help it--I'm a good singer..." 

Now...1, 2, 3, REVIEW!! YAAAAAY!! It's easy...just push that little button down there and insert a nice message.

(ex--"CronoCat, I adore your story! I wish I were just like you! Please, teach me, O Guru! I hero worship you. Let me shine your shoes/wash your car/clean your room/do your homework/bake you cookies/etc. to show my sincere appreciation! Looooooove, --your name here--) 

Until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	10. The LongAwaited Unveiling of the Dark an...

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Disclaimer: I do not own the following things: Peter Pan, Zelda, Crono Trigger, Pepsi or Sprite. *Sobs* I only wish I did...Many thanks to Mo-Mo for the long-awaited "soda line", which I also do not own.

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A/N: Yay! Ten chapters! I apologize for the wait. I just haven't felt motivated. And sorry it's rather short this time. Hope you all like it! Thanks a bunch for the reviews!! 

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Chapter Ten: The Long-Awaited Unveiling of the Dark and Scary Plan

Marle ran up the stairs, away from the dark and scary dungeons. When she reached the top, she stood there, collecting herself and steadying her breathing. In the hallway in front of her, blazing torches hung in brackets along the wall, but even their continuous yellow light could not touch the darkness that leaked out of the dungeons and up the staircase. Marle took a moment to check out her crossbow and to notch an arrow.

Out of the darkness, his orange hair dancing in the flickering light, came Crono. He was panting slightly, as though he too had taken the stairs at a run. Marle looked him over casually, then proceeded to ignore him. He watched her hook the arrow in and sling her crossbow over her shoulder.

"Going the same way, aren't we?" Crono said cheerfully. Amazing that the overwhelming darkness did nothing to diminish his spirits.

"I guess."

Crono smiled happily. "Got to find Magus, eh?"

"Yes, Crono," Marle sighed in a monotone. Honestly--hadn't he even been listening to Lucca back there?

"I hope Lucca will be okay," he said after a bit. Marle glanced up to see Crono looking more serious now and frowning slightly.

"What about me?" She asked sulkily.

Crono looked up, surprised. "What about you?"

"I mean, aren't you worried about me?" Marle went on. Did she have to spell _everything_ out for him?!

"Oh. No, not particularly."

"And why not?"

Crono shrugged. "I guess I just figured you'd be fine on your own. This whole time you've really seemed to want to be...away from the rest of us," he went on, gesturing helplessly. "So I thought you...well, you know. You know how to take care of yourself and you want to do it alone. I think," he added quickly.

"Crono, that was just because I was _mad _at you."

"But...Why?"

Marle sighed, exasperated suddenly. "I don't really remember, okay? It was kind of a long time ago and..."

She stopped, because they had reached the dining hall. Crono walked all the way across, orienting himself with where they had first come in. He tried to remember which door Magus had left through. There were several passages along the wall, but finally he picked one.

"Your door, madam."

"Crono, please. I don't need your help! I'm fine on my own!" Marle said, feeling angry again, although she wasn't altogether sure why.

"Fine!" Crono said back. He was also getting angry. Stupid ex-girlfriend.

Just then there was a loud crashing noise. Marle screamed and leapt towards Crono. He automatically caught her and they stood there, hugging each other and waiting for Magus to descend on them. But he didn't.

"Um...Marle? I can't breathe!" Crono gasped.

Marle quickly let go of his middle. "Oops! Just...uh...giving you a little good-bye hug, is all," she stammered, looking up at them.

"Fine on your own, eh?" Crono teased.

"Yeah," Marle said belligerently.

"You're too scared," he taunted.

"Am not!"

"Then why did you jump in my arms?"

"Shut up Crono! I told you that was just a good-bye hug."

"Yeah right," Crono snickered. He laughed and suddenly realized how close they were standing. Marle had let go of him, but neither had moved away. Marle seemed to realize it at the same time. She blinked and coughed nervously.

"I'm sorry, Crono."

"It's all right."

"No, I mean I'm sorry I called you a pig and ran away. If you hadn't gone looking for me, Glenn wouldn't have gotten captured and we'd be home safe by now," Marle said quietly.

Crono shrugged. "Don't blame yourself."

"I can't help it. I yelled at him, but I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have."

"And now you're sorry."

"Yeah," Marle said.

Crono's eyes lit up. "Does this mean you forgive me for whatever it was I did?"

Marle laughed. "Yes. I forgive you. Do you forgive me?"

"I don't know...it depends."

"Depends on what?!" Marle demanded indignantly.

"This," Crono said, closing in the last few inches between them and kissing her fiercely.

"O-ooh," Marle said, and kissed him back. A few minutes later, they were happily seated on one of the benches, making up...and making out.

***

The darkness rushed in, suffocating her. Navi was pinned in a very strong hand. She couldn't budge her wings an inch. She couldn't even kick her legs or breathe too deeply.

"Let me go!" Navi gasped out.

"Hast thou seen mine friends? What tidings dost thou bring me? What doth thou knowest of that knave Magus's whereabouts?! Hurry! The hour grows late and I am fast becoming desperate!"

"Can't...breathe...slowly...dying...terrible...death..."

"Please! I beg of thee-pray tell all thou dost know!" Glenn cried impatiently.

Navi squirmed and took a deep breath. Then she screamed at the top of her lungs, "LET ME GO!!" This was followed by the feeling of something sharp digging into Glenn's hands.

With a surprised howl, he began to try and shake her from his hands. Finally, she was thrown off and across the dark room. She smacked into the door with a loud thump and a burst of blinding light shone through.

Speechless, Glenn remained kneeling in the beam of light. (A/N: Insert hallelujah chorus)

The peace and beauty of this moment was quickly shattered as Navi regained consciousness. Here, in the thin sunlight, she recognized Glenn as...

"You're the..._PERVERT MAN!!_" With a roar, she leapt at Glenn and began trying to ferociously attack him. Glenn swatted her away, but Navi bit his ear hard and locked her little jaw.

"'twas but a misunderstanding, fairy! Off mine ear!"

When Navi refused to let go, Glenn gritted his teeth and reached for the Masamune. He wasn't going to let any stupid fairy bite his ear off. He reached for his most prized possession-the beautiful and legendary sword that had always brought justice swinging down in a sharp, precise arc. He knew it without seeing it. And he knew, without being fully able to accept, that it was gone...

***

"Can I interest you in a drink?"

"You're stalling, Magus," Lucca said, glaring at him. "I want to hear this 'Dark and Scary Plan' and I want to hear it now!"

"How about a Pepsi?" Magus went on, as if he hadn't heard.

"No!"

"Perhaps a Sprite would better suit your tastes?"

Sighing, Lucca gave in. "Fine. A Sprite would be fine. I'm more of a white soda person anyways."

Magus chuckled as he poured her soda into a glass. "I prefer dark soda. It's like my soul-_dark and twisted. _Oh, and lightly carbonated!"

Lucca stared. "Um, right...Well, cheers, I guess..."

"Right. So you want to know the plan, do you?"

"Of course I want to know it, you dolt!"

"Tsk, tsk...It's not in your best interests to insult me right now," Magus said calmly. Lucca sulked quietly. "Well, my plan is quite simple really: I followed you all here in order to recapture Glenn."

"You're _still _chasing him around? Magus-it's been ages!"

Magus sniffed dramatically. "I missed my chance to kill him twice now! I'm so ashamed!"

"Um, don't cry, Magus..."

He wiped his eyes and sat up straight. "I must finish what was started so long ago."

"You mean when you killed Cyrus?"

"That would be what I am referring to, yes. I regret I didn't kill the little pipsqueak when I had the chance."

"You'll never beat him, Magus! Glenn is much stronger now!"

Magus smiled. "Without the Masamune, Lucca dear?"

Lucca gasped. "What?! You _stole_ the Masamune?!"

"Stole is such a harsh word. I prefer...borrow. Or perhaps, commandeer."

"But..." Suddenly Lucca's eyes lit up. "Your plan has an obvious flaw."

"Does it?" Magus asked, smirking.

"Yes," Lucca said, matching his smirk. "Perhaps you forgot that _you_ can't touch the Masamune?"

"Who said anything about me touching it?"

"Oh. But--"

Magus cut in. "Without his precious sword, he'll be much easier to defeat. My plan was to turn him back into a frog and then you into a fly. Won't it be fun to see him eat all his friends without realizing it? Mwhahahaahahahahahaha!"

Lucca threw the rest of her drink at him. "You are disgusting!"

Smiling, Magus wiped the soda off his face. "Good thing you had already finished most of that. Otherwise, I would have a lot of soda on me. And...my plan wouldn't work!"

Lucca paled. "Was that a potion to turn my into a fly?! Ohh, I don't feel so good. I think I'm going to throw up..." With an involuntary shudder, Lucca slid off the chair to the floor.

"Not on my carpets, you aren't!" Magus said, reaching out to catch her. He draped her arm around his shoulder and slowly stood up. Lucca leaned limply against him. His voice seemed very far away to her suddenly. The room was spinning and she felt exhausted. Lucca struggled to keep her eyes open. She _had_ to stay awake! She had to stop this madman!

Magus was watching her closely. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and calming. Lucca felt him rocking back and forth on his heels. The soothing motion was taking its toll on her. "There was nothing in there to turn you into a fly. Nothing at all...Snap twice."

Behind her glasses, Lucca's eyes had gone blank. The pupils dwindled away and her eyes were big and unfocused. Staring vacantly at Magus, Lucca's fingers suddenly snapped twice. Magus smirked.

"Now the real fun can begin!"

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A/N: Oh, that evil, evil Magus. He's so cool!!!! *Huggles* Right, so don't forget to review!! We're wrapping up here--next chapter: the REAL dark and scary plan will be unveiled. Not this fake stuff that Magus is making up...that crafty magus! He's sly like a fox. hahahaha! Thanx again for reading! You guys rock my world!! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	11. Zombies and Wedding Bells

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A/N: I don't know how I let myself get talked into this... -_-' My first plan was to make this an omake, but...well, somehow my story was already crazy enough that I could fit everything in. So, I repeat, this is NOT omake. Don't get confused on me now. Now go read!!

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Dedication: For Mo, who asked for this practically from day one, and for Dr. Lauryl, who has continuously dropped not-so-subtle hints that my story should include a bit of Lucca + Magus. Also for kirbmasterx who (probably unwittingly) supplied the title for this chapter after claiming to "hear wedding bells". This is dedicated to you guys and to ALL my reviewers. 

Chapter Eleven: Zombies and Wedding Bells

Birds swooped across the well-cultivated lawn and up over the Hyrule castle. From her seat by the window, Zelda watched them. With a contented sigh, she set down her completed sewing. It was her dream green dress with plenty of lace. She slipped it on and then decided it was time for her afternoon constitutional. (A/N: A constitutional is a walk. Good for your constitution, see?) Zelda paused at the door, wondering if she should even waste breath trying to pull Link away from Lucca's door. A few moments later, she found herself upstairs.

Link was in a sorry state. Zelda saw her boyfriend sitting on the stone floor, slumped against Lucca's door. His clothes were disheveled and his hat hung from one ear. The hall was littered with empty water bottles and his eyes were glazed over.

"LINK!" Zelda cried, running to him.

He didn't seem to hear her. "And so _I _said, 'That's not a chicken-it's a _squirrel_!'" And then Link began to laugh hoarsely, his voice cracking slightly.

"Link! You've been up here for almost TWO SOLID DAYS! You're losing your voice-"

"Not losing...voice. Drinking...water," Link said dreamily.

Zelda narrowed her eyes. "You haven't slept, have you?!"

"No time..."

"Good God, Link! Please tell me you've still been using the bathroom!"

Link nodded, his eyes half-closed. Suddenly, his head lolled alarmingly and he snapped back up-right. "Ten of 'em...at once, but I...fought bravely..."

"O-okay, Link. Too much time talking to yourself is ruining what little sanity you had. We're going for a walk!" Zelda said sternly. Link was too exhausted to resist and he let her half pull, half carry him outside. On the way, Zelda stopped to grab something. Then she led Link outside.

"Natural light!" Link cried, blinking furiously. He stood on the edge of the drawbridge, wiping the tears out of his eyes. Zelda smiled and the next thing Link knew, he was in the moat. The cold water jarred him awake.

"Wake up, Link! You were wasting away up there! Time to return to reality. Now wash up-you haven't showered recently and you don't smell too beautiful," Zelda scolded from the bridge. The "something" she had gone to get turned out to be soap.

Soon a soaking wet, but sparkling clean Link emerged. Thoroughly chastened, he followed Zelda silently and accepted the food she handed him.

"That's better," Zelda announced. "Now, Link...I know I haven't always been as...uh, willing as Lucca to listen to your stories and I apologize. But you should keep in mind that I have heard many of your tales. There was no need to sit outside Lucca's door for TWO WHOLE DAYS without eating, bathing or sleeping!"

Link tried to tell Zelda he was sorry, but his voice came out as a loud croaking noise.

"Let's go on that walk now, shall we?" Zelda said, taking Link's hand. Together they meandered off in the general direction of Ganondorf's castle.

***

Upon seeing Glenn reach for his beloved sword, Navi flew faster than ever before, up through the opening in the cellar door and off in search of Lucca. She careened into the banquet hall and was halfway down the stairs to the dungeon before her brain registered what she had just seen back in the hall. Curiously, she flew cautiously back up and peered around the door. Blushing scarlet, Navi watched with undeniable interest. It didn't take long for her to reassure herself that Crono and Marle were in fact making out on top of one of the dining tables. She thought about reminding the couple that people probably _ate _off those tables, but decided it was only monsters and they certainly wouldn't care, the heathens!

Let Glenn the pervert man come and find them here! It would serve them right for ignoring the mission. With that thought in mind, Navi tore her eyes away and flew into the darkness. To her surprise, a door at the end of the hallway was cracked open, shedding a faint light. What was Lucca up to? Navi slipped inside and quickly ducked behind one of the plastic plants. _Magus!_ She clapped a tiny hand over her mouth to keep from gasping in surprise.

Oblivious to the small fairy, Magus said sternly, "Stand up straight!"

Lucca, slumping heavily against him, suddenly obeyed and held herself upright. Navi watched and wondered what the hell was going on.

"_Now_, we can finally begin. You thought all along you were so smart, Lucca. But I tricked you in the end. I've pretended with all my being, pretended that I was surprised, scared, worried. And now...now your mind and body are under my control! You cannot even register the words coming out of my mouth, except to obey a direct order," Magus crowed triumphantly. From his cloak, he withdrew a small, white envelope. "I have no need for this anymore. It contained a powder that would allow me to control you, but you've swallowed very nearly every last bit of it in that white soda of yours." Carelessly, he threw the packet behind him.

Unable to duck or move, paralyzed by all she had heard, Navi sat in the dirt, watching the packet descend upon her in slow motion. Suddenly, she found herself inside of it. There were little whitish crystals still stuck to the paper and as she wrestled to pull it off her head, one crystal slid free and into her gasping mouth.

"The time has come," Magus said and his voice sounded distant. "You said my plan's flaw was that I could not hold the Masamune. True, but you can, dear Lucca and _you _will fight with it. Pick up the sword." Navi felt the world growing dark, her consciousness slipping away. "Follow me," Magus said tonelessly, and although he did not notice, two beings obeyed.

***

In the cellar, Glenn still crouched in the light, as though praying. After a moment of silent reflection, he stood and climbed up through the small hole. Wincing with pain and head aching from a lack of sleep and food, Glenn made his way back into Ganondorf's castle. Peeking his head around the corner of the great banquet hall, he was greeted with the site of Marle and Crono on top of one of the many tables. Just as he was about to walk in, Magus approached the pair unnoticed.

He stood above them and chuckled. "Hmm...this may be easier than I thought. Sorry to interrupt old friends when they are working so hard on a mission, but I have things to do!"

Crono was slow to respond. He could hardly think clearly, except that he loved Marle. He sat upright, breathing hard and reached for his sword. Magus knocked his arm away.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend? Come now...I regret," he went on sorrowfully, "all the times I was perhaps a bit...cruel to you, Sir Crono. But I have repented my old ways. Won't you please forgive me? Look, I lay down my scythe." Magus knelt before Crono, looking up at him sadly.

Crono was perplexed. He ran a hand through his hair, straightening his spikes and rearranging his clothing in a way he hoped was inconspicuous. "Well, I..."

"_Never!_" Marle cried, aiming her crossbow at Magus. "You SCUM! You think when your evil plans didn't work out you could just come crawling back to us?"

Magus looked humbly down at the ground. "I am deeply sorry for the things I have done."

"There, there. I suppose it's all right," Crono said uncomfortably. "Perhaps we could make a truce."

"Ah! Then you forgive me! I knew you would! Thank you, thank you! You are a most noble man," Magus said, lavishing praise and beaming. He stood up and slung his scythe over his back. "Lucca has already forgiven me."

Any remaining doubt in Crono's mind was banished with those simple words. Lucca was his best friend and the smartest person he knew. He would gladly agree to anything she did. "Lucca did? Well, that's all right then." He and Magus shook hands. Marle lowered her crossbow.

"Congratulate us!" Magus cried, pulling a bottle of champagne from his cloak. "Lucca darling, come out here and say hello!"

Confused again, Marle and Crono accepted wine glasses and handfuls of rice.

Lucca appeared. "Hello," she said in a monotone and stood close to Magus. He reached down and took her hand, whispering in her ear as he did so.

"Crono, Marle...I am so glad you have forgiven Magus. We have good news for you," she said in the same flat voice.

"That's great. What is it?" Crono asked curiously.

Magus smirked slightly. "Lucca and I have fallen in love! I just want to shout it out to the world that I love Lucca!"

Crono felt his jaw drop to the floor.

"WHAT?!?" Marle screeched. "Lucca, I...I won't let you marry this _CREEP!!_" She screamed passionately.

Magus looked away, as though hurt. "I...I'm sorry. I warned Lucca that her friends would never accept this, but she thought she could convince you." He murmured comforting words to Lucca.

The light was reflecting too strongly off her glasses for Crono or Marle to see her eyes. Lucca said, "It's true. I love Magus. If you cannot accept this, we can't be friends any longer."

"Lucca no!" Crono cried out, looking like he might cry. "We'll _always_ be friends, you and I, not matter what! I can accept this. Really I can."

"Thank you for understanding, Crono! We'll make you the godfather of our child," Magus crowed happily.

Marle looked like she might throw up. "I don't know why you're doing this Lucca. I thought you _hated _Magus. And the thought of you having children...I can hardly stand it!"

"Lucca loves me!" Magus cried out, hugging her. "Kiss me, my darling!"

Lucca kissed him and he bent her over backwards dramatically. Crono cheered and threw his rice and hummed the first few bars of "Here Comes the Bride." The zombie Navi flung herself into Magus's hair, kissing it, but no one seemed to notice. 

Marle had to look away. Glenn, still hiding, also felt sick, but mostly he felt something was terribly wrong. And then he saw it. A faint, faint glimmer, but yes! The masamune was strapped to Lucca's back. But...why?

Magus straightened up, smirking. "You see?" He said calmly.

Marle burst into tears. "Oh, Lucca..._WHY?!?_"

"It's all right, Marle. Everything's okay if this is what she truly wants," Crono said, letting Marle sob into his shirt. "This _is _what you want, Lucca?"

Lucca said nothing.

Magus leaned towards her. "Tell him Lucca! Tell him, like you told me, that you love me, you've always loved me!"

"Let her speak for herself!" Marle said sharply. "Talk to us, Lucca. Tell us the truth!"

"I..." For the first time, Lucca faltered, but Magus smiled reassuringly at her and put his cheek up against hers. No one saw him whispering commands to her. "I love Magus," she said calmly. "We were destined to be together and this is what I truly want. This is the truth, Marle. It is no more ridiculous than coming in and seeing you and Crono kissing on the table."

Marle blushed and looked away. "I see."

In his hiding place, something clicked in Glenn's mind. Lucca hadn't seen Crono and Marle kissing...had she?

"Magus and I want to be married straightaway," Lucca said.

No one quite knew what to say. Crono cleared his throat a couple of times, but didn't say anything. Marle wept passionately into his shirt again.

Magus sighed deeply. "I regret this most deeply. But if the two of you won't cooperate..." He muttered a few strange words and suddenly, Crono and Marle found themselves bound together by some invisible bonds. Back-to-back, they stood, barely balancing, leaning against the table. With another wave of his hand, Magus gagged the two. Lucca watched, emotionless, apparently oblivious to the great betrayal her friends felt deeply. 

"Come, Lucca," Magus said simply. "With these two out of the way, I may finally carry out what was started so many chapters ago."

With that, they turned and left the dining hall.

****

A/N: For the record, I have absolutely _NO _idea what joke Link was telling in the beginning of this chapter. And also, another stereotype, if you didn't catch that Lucca had turned evil before, her glasses glinted. Ever noticed that if the villain wears glasses, they reflect the light when the hero isn't looking? Haha, it's true! Now don't forget to review and check in for the next chapter when many of your questions will be revealed! (What is Magus's REAL dark and scary plan? What's going to happen to Link and Zelda? Remember Ganondorf? Whatever happened to him? Does Magus REALLY love Lucca?) 

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING (AND WEIRD) CHAPTER!! ~CronoCat =^_^=

AND NOW: MANY, MANY THANKS!!!!

Dr. Lauryl- *Shudder, shudder, shudder* Magus with a lemony twist?! I'm frightened. I may have given on the Magus/Lucca, but I don't know about that...

Kirbmasterx- I hear wedding bells, too. Thanks for the title inspiration...You don't mind if I use that, do you? Thanx for reading!

Dr. Pixie- I love your cover!!! *happy dance* I wish other people could see your comic version of this story *hint hint*...Oh, and good luck on your story--I want to hear when you've got the first chapter done!

Shiro Amayagi- Booyaka yourself, comrade web comics fan! hehe, I'm glad Magus is your muse...but beware! He's rather dark and scary, too. I'm not sure I'd trust him as a muse. Keep reading!

ThEaPoCoLyPsEoF99- I'm glad you're enjoying my story, but I think you misunderstood. Magus NEVER REALLY planned for Frog to eat his friends. He was tricking Lucca. Magus is sneaky that way. But don't worry-it'll all become clear in this chapter when I reveal the REAL plan. ^_^

Imania- Thank you so much for your reviews!! They always make me happy. Did you realize you were rhyming in one of them? lol, that was great...But don't chase me around the world with a frying pan! I promise I will tell you the evil plan! (ha! I rhymed too! Actually I just stole your rhyme...) Keep reading and reviewing, okay? If you don't, I'll force you to listen to Link's stories!!

Chikin Wang- Hey, thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you're laughing along at my story. haha, I can't wait to hear what you think about the later chapters...It just keeps getting crazier. Thank you again!

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NOW REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW OR MAGUS WILL COME AFTER YOU!! (Oooh, a rhyme!) 


	12. Not THIS Again!

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Disclaimer: Crono Trigger is *gasp!*....not mine. If it were, this wouldn't be _fan_fiction, now would it?

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A/N: AAAAAHHHHH!!! I'm SO sorry! I haven't updated in like three months! *Hides* Please don't hurt me! I would give excuses, but they'd mostly consist of being kidnapped by rabid college applications so....you probably wouldn't believe me anyways. Just pretend I'm Glenn in the beginning here, talking to all of my readers, instead of Marle, okay? Glenn=me, the author. Marle=you, the **WONDERFUL** reader. Got that? Good. Now onto Chapter Twelve! Until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=

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~~What Happened Last~~

--Magus sighed deeply. "I regret this most deeply. But if the two of you won't cooperate..." He muttered a few strange words and suddenly, Crono and Marle found themselves bound together by some invisible bonds. Back-to-back, they stood, barely balancing, leaning against the table. With another wave of his hand, Magus gagged the two. Lucca watched, emotionless, apparently oblivious to the great betrayal her friends felt deeply. 

"Come, Lucca," Magus said simply. "With these two out of the way, I may finally carry out what was started so many chapters ago."

With that, they turned and left the dining hall.

****

~~~

Chapter Twelve: Not THIS Again!!

As soon as Magus had exited with Lucca, Glenn dashed into the dining hall. With a wail of despair, he threw himself at Marle's feet. "Forgive me, milady!" He cried, from where he was lying prostrate on the ground. "I hath failed to protect Your Majesty yet again! 'Twould be best mayhap, if thou didst banish me into exile. I am nary a hero. Perish the thought! Shall I impale myself upon mine own sword?" He reached for it and let out another long cry of despair. "I did forget. I hath lost mine precious sword! Nary, nary a hero am I. I dost not deserve thy grace and goodwill. I should die a thousand deaths from the shame I hath brought to thy good name."

Marle blinked. "Glenn? Is it...really you? Oh, Crono!" She squealed, "We found Glenn! Won't Lucca be prou--" Marle stopped abruptly, remembering that now Lucca was marrying Magus. They couldn't be best friends anymore. Lucca had even _tried _to stop Magus from tying them up. A sob escaped her lips.

"There, there," Crono said, as comfortingly as he could, despite his inability to move.

"I shall never forgive myself! I hath let my guard down and let that blue-haired _CRETIN _kidnap me! Oh, I am _so _ashamed!" Glenn went on pitifully.

"Say, Glenn... I know how you could make it up to us," Crono said gently.

Glenn looked up tearfully. "How?"

"Well," Crono took a deep breath. "SAVE US, YOU BLUBBERING MORON!!"

Glenn wiped his face, saluted and promptly set to work, tugging with all his might at the magic, invisible ropes that held his friends captive.

***

In the cells that lay almost directly below our three heroes, Ganondorf lay in complete darkness. Still stunned by this sudden turn of events that had led to him being kept captive, he stared wistfully out into the dungeon.

"Magus? Are you out there?" He called cautiously. No one answered. In fact, there was no sound at all, save for the unsteady dripping of water from somewhere. "Damn plumbing! I'll have to get that fixed..." he muttered to himself.

He rattled the bars, softly at first, and then grew braver and began banging on them for all he was worth. "Hello? HELLO!" he yelled impatiently. Sighing dejectedly, Ganondorf threw himself down on the floor. "Don't they ever feed us in this joint? I'm starved! It's been _years _since I ate!" he cried dramatically, clutching his stomach and groaning, despite that fact that he had been locked up for only about twenty minutes. He continued putting on his theatrical production of groaning and murmuring that he was about die in case someone was standing nearby silently with food. Eventually, he promised himself, they would _have _to give in and feed him!

***

"Did you hear something?" Crono asked, holding out his one freed hand to motion that everyone should remain silent.

Marle tipped her head, listening. "No..."

"I did not," Glenn said, decidedly. He continued yanking Crono's other arm free.

Crono looked worried. "Really? I--ouch!" he cried, as Glenn gave his arm a particularly vicious yank.

"Just a bit farther," Glenn exclaimed, pulling with all his might. With a shout, Crono tumbled free and fell onto Glenn. The two warriors crashed to the ground, groaning in pain, but free at last.

"My, Glenn, what lovely eyes you have," Crono commented wryly, having landed directly on Glenn's chest.

Glenn smacked him away. "Get out of my face, knave, or thou shalt never see the light of day again!"

"Stop playing around and save me!" Marle hissed.

They both jumped up immediately and within minutes, Marle, too, was free.

"Well...what now?"

Marle pushed Crono aside. "Now we go and rescue Lucca, stupid!"

"But... What if Lucca actually _wants_ to marry Magus?" Crono asked hesitantly.

"What?! Marry that _creep_?!" Marle screeched. With a smirk, she adjusted her crossbow. "You can't be serious. Lucca would _never _do that, never in a million years! Never, even if she was the last woman in this world--or _any other_ world--and Magus were--"

"Okay, okay! I get the point!" Crono cried.

Glenn cleared his throat importantly. "If I may....?"

"Go ahead," Marle said with an impatient nod.

With that, Glenn proceeded to explain how he had been hiding and seen the whole thing. "Lucca had the sacred Masamune strapped to her back!" he went on sadly. "Oh, my beautiful sword! I shall rescue thee!"

Marle shook her head, confused. "But why would Lucca have the Masamune? She didn't take it from you, did she?"

"No, of course not! 'Twas that foul, blue-haired cretin, Magus. Of this, I am sure. But wait! I hath more strange things to tell thee. It came to me that Lucca had never seen the two of you...erm...together. 'Tis strange then, is it not, for her to say something about this?"

"Oh! Good point! You're a regular Sherlock Holmes, Glenn!" Crono cried jovially.

"Sherlock Holmes?" Glenn repeated. "Never mind. I have no time for thy stupidity and Peter Pan tales. 'tis best we went after our sworn enemy and stop him before it 'tis too late!" With a cry of, "we shan't let you escape _this _time, Magus! Oh, enemies of the heir, beware!" Glenn strode quickly out of the room.

"Crono, c'mon!" Marle yelped, grabbing his sleeve.

"Stupidity and Peter Pan indeed!" Crono grumbled, letting Marle drag him out of the grand dining hall.

***

The darkness of the room just beyond was overwhelming. Crono bumped into Glenn, letting out a quiet yelp of surprise. He was quickly shushed by both friends.

"Listen," Glenn commanded in a whisper.

In the distance, they could hear a faint sound.

"What is it?" Crono asked after a moment.

Marle took a step forward. "Won't know until we go and see, now will we?"

"Quite right," Glenn agreed, following her.

Crono found the back of Glenn's tunic in the dark. Holding on to it, he murmured, "do you suppose this is what it's like to be blind?"

"I can't see _anything_! Can't you sort of tell where light is coming from, even if you're blind?" Marle asked.

"Speaking of light..." Glenn said in a low voice. Ahead of them, one light on either side had switched on.

"Somehow, this makes it even eerier," Marle shuddered, grabbing Crono's arm.

The party moved slowly forward, the lights illuminating the way with every step.

Glenn scratched his head. "Something about this seems vaguely familiar, does it not?"

Crono readied his sword. "Is there some sort of path in the castle? How strange!"

"Listen!" Marle gasped, stopping in her tracks. The sound in the distance was growing louder.

"A...chant?" Crono asked curiously.

"Very familiar," Glenn said grimly. "Ah, if only I could remember!"

They resumed their cautious pace in silence. As Glenn wracked his brain in despair, the chanting grew louder.

"It's Magus," Crono announced suddenly, with great certainty.

Glenn shook his head, "I _know _I should remember!"

"But it doesn't sound like Magus...." Marle put in, ignoring Glenn.

They all listened for a moment. Then Crono nodded, "quite right, Marle. Quite right. Not to echo you, Glenn, old buddy, but I feel I should recognize that voice."

"Well, if it's not Magus, then who?" Marle asked quietly. "It _does _sound feminine, don't you agree?"

Glenn stopped dead in his tracks, causing the other two to stumble into him. He held up his hand, cutting off their complaints. "Dear Lord," he said, almost reverently, "it's _Lucca!_ I'd know that voice _anywhere!_"

The wavering shadows cast a strange, eerie light on Glenn's features, revealing his shocked expression and open mouth frozen into a rather grotesque look. Crono's hair glowed neon orange, the fire reflected in his disbelieving eyes. Marle looked back and forth between her two friends, her eyes illuminated by unshed tears.

"L..._Lucca_?" she managed, blinking rapidly to hide her distress.

Glenn put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but words failed him. Even Crono remained silent, shaking his head 

"I refuse to believe this!" Marle said fiercely, shaking Glenn's hand off and striding forward. The two warriors hurried after her, a step behind as a circle of lights on the floor lit up. Illuminated in the middle, hands raised up high, back turned on the stunned heroes, was Magus. For a moment, it was dead silent in the hall. Magus's cape fluttered.

Then...

"I _knew _it!" Glenn cried. "I knew this was too familiar to be a coincidence. You knave! You foul _cretin_!"

"You are mistaken," Magus said calmly, with a slight smirk. "_I _am not doing anything..." he stepped aside to reveal--

"_LUCCA_!!" Crono and Marle cried. She was facing the opposite direction, and did not turn when she heard her name called. She was, for perhaps the first time in years, not wearing her trademark helmet. Her friends had never seen her without it. But even more distressing was the hard glint of the Masamune's sharp tip, which was pointed straight up, and Lucca's two hands wrapped firmly around the hilt. Unmoving and unresponsive, she held it above her head.

"Carry on," Magus said, most definitely smirking now.

Lucca began to chant again, in that strange voice her friends didn't recognize.

"Lucca! What are you doing?" Crono cried, feeling a surge of panic that he couldn't explain.

All of a sudden, the ground began to shake. There was a loud rumbling noise and the very walls of the fortress seemed to sway.

"_LUCCA!_" Marle screamed, clutching Crono's arm for support.

Magus laughed manically. "Go ahead. Yell all you want!" he called above the noise. "She can't hear you now! Bwhahahahahahaha!"

"Stop her, Magus! Dost thou intend to bring this fortress and possibly this entire world to ruin just for the purpose of thy twisted need for revenge?!"

He turned on Glenn, fire in his eyes. "Surely you don't pretend to have no understanding of the feeling? It's too late, Glenn. You can't stop me now!"

"What's going on?" yelled the ever clueless Crono.

"I am feeling a most primal urge to sink to this foul mage's level, and carve his heart out with a spoon!" Glenn cried back.

"Oh." Crono blinked. "Thanks, Glenn. I guess that just about clears things up..."

"Unfortunately, I am out of spoons!" Glenn went on, ignoring him.

Marle rolled her eyes. "Very funny. For your information, Crono, I believe Magus is referring to Cyrus."

Glenn gritted his teeth angrily. "Ooh!" Crono said, finally beginning to understand. "But what is Lucca doing?"

Magus threw back his head, laughing even harder. "It's a shame you'll all die soon. You're stupidity amuses me," he gasped, pointing at Crono between fits of laughter.

"Oh yeah? Come over here and say that!" Crono cried.

Before the two could begin to fight, the ground rumbled again. A large space in front of Lucca began to glow blood-red. It was as if the very air were pulsating with energy and magic.

"It's as if...something big were trying to force its way through the fabric of this world," Marle gasped in Glenn's ear.

"Exactly," he said grimly.

Suddenly, everything fell into place for Crono. "Lavos," he said slowly.

Marle caught his eye, and sighed loudly. "Not _this _again!"

"Oh yes! And this time, I'll kill him forever! Come on, Lavos, old friend! I've been waiting a long time for this day!" Magus cried, readying his scythe. All attention turned to the crackling spot in the air. The light spilled through the cracks, bathing them all a blood-red hue. The three warriors watched apprehensively, as there was a resounding boom that echoed through that halls, and then a shape began to form more clearly in the middle. The summoning had worked and there in the light stood---

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A/N: hehe...that was evil. *ducks flying vegetables* I've never done such a mean cliffhanger before. Don't hurt me! Now it's time for the final battle and I've got lots planned. Don't forget to review, and I won't forget to update!! I'm thinking I'll have that next chapter out by the beginning of next week. (Unbelievable, eh?) Oh, and the line about cutting people's hearts out with spoons was inspired by the movie Robinhood...you know, the serious one. The villains are so, well...flamboyant. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving everyone! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	13. No Visual Aids, Please!

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Disclaimer: Does anyone else get tired of making this up time and time again? Sometimes I try to do something funny, but really...it's a _disclaimer_! Honestly...*sigh* It's not mine. yada yada ya.... 

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A/N: Well, here I am! Back again, and it's only been...eh, a little longer than a week. I'm trying at least. Actually, I'm only managing to get this up now, because I'm sick, so I hope the chapter's still good. To my reviewers, yes, I acknowledge your right to call me a lazy bum. I'm just so glad no one's forgotten my little fic!! *cheers* Okay, enough babbling out of me. A quick thanks to all my reviewers, since they deserve it, and I'll also answer some of your questions. Now then--onwards!

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In CRONOlogical Order (hahaha...sorry...)

Kirbmasterx--The only reason they didn't recognize Lavos' entrance instantly, is because I wanted the readers to figure it out. Also, I thought it was funnier. While it's true that Magus is crazy, you must admire his dark and scary plans! And Link as Robin Hood is an interesting idea, but I think Peter Pan provided more amusement for the story.

Dr. Lauryl--lol, thanks for the warning, but I already have the wrath of Stacey on my head. I must say though, that any HP reference was unintentional, and I didn't notice it myself. In fact, I've been rereading my story, but I can't find one. Clue me in? Well, anyway, here's the next chapter! Enjoy, and thanks a hojillion for reviewing!

darkshadow01--I'm so glad you liked the beginning! Glenn's speech was one of the hardest parts. I've been trying to get Ye Olde Englishe lines wherever I can for that one. But uh...go a little easy on the jellybeans there, okay? I think they might have drugs in them. -_-' Just a thought, because usually, jellybeans don't make me hallucinate that I'm dancing with purple monkeys. As for the wedding, you'll just have to keep reading and see...

Chikin Wang--I'm sorry if the last chapter disappointed you a little, but I had to have a more dramatic one in there to get the story moving along. In fact, I don't know what I'm going to do now that things are actually getting a tad more serious. Review and give me suggestions, if you have any!

The J-Man--I have been focusing a lot on the CT characters, but I'll let you in on a secret...I've never played Zelda. I really don't know much about it...lol. However, I promise I will put in more of my warped versions of these characters in the final few chapters. Oh, and by the way, you are very perceptive, J-Man. That's all I can say right now. Read the chapter...you'll see what I mean.

Lady Storm--lol, you hero worship me now?...It's rather surprising when some others are saying I'm a lazy bum ^_^ But I'm glad you're reading my story. Mmmm...I would like some of those cookies you're promising to make me, though...

that kid from next door--Oh boy...*looks around nervously* Please don't hurt me. I'm updating, see? But I can't promise that this chapter won't also have a cliffhanger...*runs away and hides*

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Chapter Thirteen: No Visual Aids, Please!

The smoke cleared and there in the middle stood--

"_Ozzie?!_" Everyone gasped.

"Sharp object! Sharp object!" Magus cried, flailing his arms about. "Must...gouge...out...eyes!"

"Come, knave. Allow me," Glenn said bluntly, picking up Magus's scythe, which had been dropped in shock.

"W-what's going on?" Ozzie stammered.

"Great--I'm gonna have nightmares for years," Crono groaned, covering his eyes.

"It's chilly in here," Ozzie announced.

Marle shuddered and hid her face in Crono's shirt.

"H-hey! I-I...um...oh, shit," Ozzie cried, suddenly looking down and realizing he was still wearing Flea's bra and underwear. "This isn't--I mean, it's not....uh....well, Flea and...but it's not mine!" He finished all in a rush.

"I'm an _evil mage _and here my head crony is a fat, cross-dressing _TRAITOR_!!" Magus screamed, looking about to cry.

"Fear not, Knave. I shall alleviate thy pain...'twill bring me great happiness!" Glenn yelled, charging Magus with the scythe held high.

Ozzie flailed about, continuing to spout mumbled excuses despite the fact that no one was listening.

"My, this is awkward," the ever-perceptive Crono announced.

"I'll be scarred for life! Please--_do_ something!" Marle pleaded, keeping her eyes tightly closed.

Crono struck a gallant post. "Of course, my dear!" Swinging his sword aloft, he charged Ozzie. The cross-dressing crony let out a high-pitched squeal, and took off running around the room.

"_LUCCA!"_ Magus yelled, running for dear life. "_THAT _is NOT Lavos! Summon Lavos! I COMMAND YOU TO SUMMON THE REAL LAVOS!"

Marle gasped in horror. "Oh, Lucca--why are marrying _him_? Break free of this abusive relationship while you still can!"

Luca did not respond, but rather began the summoning again.

Once more the room was filled with an eerie red light and smoke. The huge bulk of Lavos began to appear.

"It's working!" Magus cried excitedly, ducking as Glenn caught up to him, swinging the scythe.

Glenn paused to look, and realized Lucca was standing too near to Lavos--she would be crushed. With a loud shout, he heaved the scythe at Magus's head and catapulted himself towards Lucca. In one flying leap, he covered the distance, and tackled her from behind. The two rolled out of the way just as Lavos appeared with a resounding bang and a burst of smoke.

Magus, who had barely avoided the scythe as it came shooting towards him, picked it up from the floor. "Lavos! What's a surprise!" he cried over the din.

The monster blinked. "Where am I? Where's my extra large pizza? Where's my nice warm bath?"

"You dare to speak to me in this insolent fashion? I'll kill you!" Magus roared.

"Ah, Magus," Lavos chuckled, starting to realize what was happening. "I might have known. Such a glutton for pain you are...Think of all the poor souls you're diverting me from with your selfishness. Ah well. As long as I'm here, I might as well cause you more unending pain and agony!" He let out an evil booming laugh, that nearly deafened everyone in the room.

Ozzie, who was hiding in the corner from Crono, screamed in terror.

"What a fat, ugly girl," Lavos commented blandly.

"Enough talk! What say thee slay Magus forthwith, for 'tis far past time we didst return home," Glenn said, wrestling the Masamune from Lucca's hands. After a moment, he got it and stood up. Lucca remained lying on the floor, expressionless.

"I remember you kids!" Lavos was saying, "once I finish with Magus, I'll kill you all like I meant to do so long ago!"

With an angry roar, Magus suddenly charged Lavos. Our heroes watched for a moment, then gathered around Lucca, apparently oblivious to the battle raging around them.

"Let's take her and run," Crono suggested.

"And leave those two to finish each other off?" Marle asked.

Glenn sheathed his sword. "Brilliant!" he said quickly.

Crono paused, rethinking it. "What if she wants to stay with Magus?"

"She doesn't. She'll thank us later," Marle answered dismissively.

Glenn frowned. "There is one problem remaining. Dost anyone--save Lucca--have the very crucial knowledge of the manner in which we shall return home? And furthermore, 'twould be wrong to leave now, thereby allowing Lavos to destroy this world. Dost thou not agree?"

"Yeah....and what about Peter Pan?" Crono put in.

Marle and Glenn smacked him.

"You're right, Glenn. Plus, something's wrong with Lucca, and probably only Magus can tell us how to cure her. And this isn't the best place to be having a conversation. I say Lavos is worse than Magus--let's defeat him again!" Marle cried, notching her crossbow. The other two followed her example, flinging themselves into the fray.

***

The battle raged into the afternoon. Around noon, Crono proposed a short break for refreshments. The party might have adjourned per his suggestion had Ozzie not chosen that inopportune moment to come back out of the shadows. Refreshments were quickly forgotten, and the battle resumed full force.

The warriors continued to fight Lavos, save Lucca, who continued to lie on the floor. Unfortunately, this meant no experience points...The rest of the heroes fought on, doing very dramatic and heroic things, which, if recounted, would be too dramatic and lengthy and too reminiscent of Link to be repeated here. In short, it was a very heroic afternoon, and also, an experience-point jackpot...

***

Meanwhile, Link and Zelda had meandered ever-so-slowly to the side of Ganondorf's castle.

"Good old Ganondorf. I haven't seen him in a long time," Link said, having gotten his voice back.

Zelda laughed easily, "you sound so nostalgic..."

"Well, aren't you? It's been weeks since he kidnapped you..."

"True, but he probably will soon. You know he hardly ever misses our bimonthly 'dates'," Zelda replied smiling.

Link walked up to the castle, and patted its thick stone walls. "He did miss that once though. I think he had some kind of urgent appointment....dentist, was it? I wonder if he's in now..."

"I think I hear yelling," Zelda said, puzzled.

"Should we check on him?"

Zelda shook her head, "no, no. Come away from there, Link. Let's keep walking..."

Link obeyed. "Ever since those strangers came here, I've been depressed," he announced sadly.

"Ever since Lucca left, you mean," Zelda corrected laughing. Seeing Link's glare, she said more seriously, "come now, Link. Try to think happy thoughts. Surely you have one?"

"I guess..." Link said slowly.

"That's the ticket!" Zelda said cheerfully. "Think of the happiest things!" (A/N: good thing Crono's not here..."think of the happiest things! That's the way to get your wings!")

Link closed his eyes tight, stood completely still, and thought as hard as he could.

Zelda was fairly dancing with impatience. "Think of anything yet? How 'bout now? Now? How about now?" She kept chirping in his ear.

After about five minutes, Link sighed and reopened his eyes. "Nothing," he said glumly.

"Oh. Well, that's all right. Some other time," Zelda said slowly, trying to conceal her disappointment. "Let's just keep walking..."

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A/N: All right, I'm done for now! Where did that narration come from? lol, it was fun to try and write something that wasn't really my normal style, but it was also completely random. I just didn't want to write the battle out...maybe there'll be more detail next chapter if people say they want it. Anyway, this last part with Link and Zelda was to set up the next chapter. Sorry if it seemed a little boring, but it's necessary. Hopefully, none of you are scarred for life from this chapter...lol. Ok, review! Until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=


	14. In Which Peter Pan Thinks of the Happies...

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Disclaimer: Sadly, all standard disclaimers apply here...

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A/N: I'm baaaaaaaack! ^__^ A hojillion plus apologies for the late update, but then, what else did you expect from me? -_-' Never fear, you'll only have to put up with me for a bit longer. *sniff* I'll be sorry to be ending this story, actually, but...this time it's true. You have here the second to last chapter!!!! I'm surprised my story even made it this far. You reviewers rock my world! A few random things: yes, Glenn _is _human here, and Navi isn't out of Magus's spell just yet! (so no plot hole, but thanks for reminding me about it...^_^) In this chapter: I hope reviewers are happy with the outcome. I think you shall be pleased with Ozzie's fate. Anywho, thanks a billion for reading! Love ya guys!!! ~CronoCat =^_^=

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Chapter Fourteen: In Which Peter Pan Thinks of the Happiest Thing

Or: The Really Outlandishly Impossible Battle Scene

"It's no use!" Crono panted, pausing beside Marle. He wiped sweat from his brow, eying his bloodied sword. "No matter what we do--we just can't kill Lavos!"

"But we can't stop now!" Marle exclaimed, letting loose another shaft from her crossbow. The great monster before them seemed not even to feel it. Marle sighed, aimed, and fired again. "I'll be out of ammo soon..."

Crono gave up trying to wipe his sword clean on the cement floor and nodded. "I'm exhausted. It's been nearly six hours now!"

"RAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Startled, the two looked up to see Magus yelling at the top of his lungs as he threw himself headlong at the giant beast, scythe flashing in front of him. Lavos flicked him away, almost effortlessly it seemed, with one tentacle and the Dark and Scary one flew across the room. Again. This made at least five times in the past hour. They watched wordlessly as Magus stood up, shook his head, dusted himself off, and charged again, hacking away at Lavos ruthlessly.

Glenn was fighting, too, but in a slightly more refined manner. The Masamune hummed viciously as it whirled through the air, striking Lavos's large bulk again and again.

"Hey--I know!" Crono said suddenly. He had to yell to be heard, and even then, Marle leaned in closer to catch the words. "What if we get Ozzie out of the corner, and use him to threaten Lavos! I mean, he's scary enough!"

"That means we have to touch him."

"Oh. Right....well. In that case, we could--" he trailed off sadly. "Ah, I got nothing."

"Well, we'll just have to make Ozzie come to us, then. Maybe--" Marle stopped and loosed a shot in the direction of Ozzie. There was a sudden piercing squeal, and then Ozzie reappeared from the pitch-black corner, an arrow stuck in his...bra strap.

He was almost to the center of the room, and out the far door before it happened. In the blink of an eye, one of Lavos's tentacles shot out and grabbed Ozzie. There was no time to call out, not that our heroes wanted to anyways. Ozzie gave a muffled scream, and then vanished. The room suddenly became completely silent.

"Oh, my God..." Marle breathed in disbelief.

Crono screamed like a little girl and promptly fainted.

Magus looked like he might be sick, and his pale skin became even paler.

"That...t'was the most _vile_act I hath ever seen committed," Glenn said, utter contempt all over his face.

"Did you...did he really just..._eat _Ozzie?!" Marle screamed.

"Mwhahaha! And _she's _next!" Lavos roared, grabbing Lucca. Her prone form dangled high in the air above them.

With a start, Crono revived and sprang up from the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

* * *

  


"Tick, tack, toe. I win. Again. How surprising..." Ganondorf's voice echoed drearily around the cells. He turned over the rock in his hands. It had been laying right beside him in the cell, and it was excellent for etching signs on the wall. Or stabbing guards. This explained how that last prisoner had escaped. Ganondorf sighed loudly and pushed the rock against the wall, drawing another small tick-tack-toe board.

"X," he announced over the high-pitched screeching noise the rock made. "Now your turn. Thank you. I'll put the O right here. Excellent choice, friend. Now I'll put _my _X here in the middle..."

A sudden shout from above caused Ganondorf to stop talking to himself and drop the rock in surprise. _I've just GOT to get out of here! _He thought and began pounding on the bars frantically. Nothing happened, just like nothing had happened for the past billion times he tried. But this time, he was _not _giving up. With a roar of determination, Ganondorf hurled himself bodily at the door.

* * *

  


"Come on, Link. Why are you still just standing there? Didn't I say ten minutes ago--"

Link held up a hand. "Zelda--tell me something."

"What is it now?" She asked impatiently.

Link scuffed his feet on the ground, as if nervous. "Could you, just off-hand, think of a really happy thought? I mean a _really _special, happy thought?"

The question caught Zelda by surprise. She frowned, thinking hard. "Why, Link, it's quite simple, really. I have lots of happy thoughts! Like, um...being a princess," she said slowly. She smiled, "going on adventures, having you rescue me, sewing--" she was practically shouting now, "--and _green dresses with lots of lace!_" At this last one, Zelda twirled in a little circle, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh, Link, it's so easy! I'm sure you have one happy thought in there somewhere! C'mon, grumpy-face; think birthdays and presents and adventure and romance and holidays and...you must have a million happy thoughts!"

Link closed his eyes tightly.

* * *

  


"NOOOOOO!!" Crono cried again, spinning his sword so fast it was only a buzzing silver blur. "I won't let you! I won't!" he shouted, slicing at Lavos repeatedly and now executing a sort of jump. It was like a deadly kind of dance: he moved and twirled and jumped, the sword echoing his movements and keeping time.

"STOP!" Lavos cried, smacking at Crono, who neatly dodged the blows.

Our heroes and Magus watched, open-mouthed, as Crono leapt clear to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. With a deafening yell, he jumped downwards, his sword a deadly glittering arc, and struck true. There was a blinding burst of white light, and a terrifically loud boom.

To Crono, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, yet all at once. His sword sliced through easily, then he was falling, down, down, past Lavos, who seemed to be disintegrating. He saw Lucca slide from Lavos's grasp and shoot across the room, landing on top of Magus and knocking him over backwards. No one saw, but Navi (still under Magus's spell) got caught in the collision as well, and the three slid across the floor.

Suddenly, it seemed to be all over. Crono landed in a crouching position beside Marle and Glenn, who were still gaping at him. The room was destroyed, the wooden tables on fire, and a bright red color was spreading across the walls. In the relative silence, no one could mistake the ominous creaking noise as the castle began to collapse on itself.

* * *

  


Ganondorf hurled himself once more at the door, yelling the whole way. The world went black, but a few moments later, he found himself struggling to his feet, miraculously outside of the cell!

"I did it! I'm so strong!" He strode around, stretching his muscles and flexing proudly for a moment, before the realization struck him: the cell door had finally come open due to the pressure and weight of the whole place slowly collapsing. With a startled yell, he took off running up the stairs, and towards the safety of the outside world.

* * *

  


Lucca stood up, holding her head and groaning. "What happened?"

There was little time to be surprised. Glenn was the first to recover from the shock. He ran over and grabbed her arm. "Long story--we must leave now!" Then he picked her up and slung her over his back. "Hurry!" he called to the others.

Crono started to run, then paused, debating. "Damn it," he cried, giving in, and running back to Magus. "Get up, you big stupid mage! C'mon--please get up!" Crono kicked him a few times for good measure.

Just as Magus began to stir, Ganondorf burst out of the cells, yelling, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, MAGUS!!" He charged him, and tackled Magus's prone form on the ground.

The far wall began to crumble, large rocks raining down from the ceiling. Crono managed to knock Ganondorf in the head with the butt of his sword, stunning him. Marle took matters into her own hands. She grabbed a tattered wall hanging and ran over. In no time at all she had Magus lashed to Ganondorf's back. Crono jabbed at the latter, bringing him painfully back to reality. In this way, Ganondorf was encouraged to make a run for it, and he did, with Crono fast at his heels.

As she turned around to head out too, Marle paused, noticing something small on the ground. "Navi!" she cried in horror. Forgetting all their previous fights, she scooped the small fairy up, and sprinted out of the castle.

* * *

  


Are you okay Link?" Zelda asked worriedly. "I'm sure it's no big deal if you can't think of anything happy..."

"No, no! I've got it! I've got my happy thought!" Link cried excited. "_I'VE THOUGHT OF THE HAPPIEST THING!_" Before he could get any farther, our heroes poured out of the castle, and the whole thing tumbled down, causing a minor earthquake. Link was shot, as if from a cannon, into the sky.

Despite all he had been through that day, Crono turned to his friends with a big smile on his face. "Guys, look--Peter Pan is flying!!"

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A/N: Thanx again for reading! Don't forget to drop a review on your way out! Until next time, ~CronoCat =^_^=


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